Amazing still it seems....

I'll be 23....
I won't love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets.

You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time, what are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now, I'm ready, holding on tight.
Don't give away the end, the one things that stays mine.


I turned 23 on Saturday. Today is my mother's birthday. Yeesh. 23.

This year was better than the last couple years though, all things considered. I had to live in a shithole quad with a cutter, and manic depressive, and an ADHD, spent a year fighting the University for the right to my degree, said goodbye to my car, went 7 months without getting laid regardless of my doing so deliberately, and so on.

Cause all that aside, I landed a solid job teaching English in Japan, developed genuine, honest friendships with good people, set right the wrongs I had done in previous relationships, won the right to my diploma, realized that for all my knowledge I can't change anyone but myself, grew some balls and stopped playing nice with people for the sake of getting along, said goodbye to my memory of Liesl, and haven't looked back.

I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I'm no closer right now to the rest of my life than I was or should have been a year ago, but where I was a boy before who thought he was a man, I'm ready to face the upcoming years of my life with confidence and security.

That's good enough, as far as I'm concerned. Not bad, for a year.
And, for once, this year really was better than the last.