A Freakin Week

That's all I have left. Seven days. How nuts is that? It's crazy to me, to think of how this has gone from an idea, to a process, to an execution, to becoming my reality. I mean, in one week, I will be on a plane, with everything I have, and will be on my way to starting a completely new life, as a minority, as a novelty, as a young man. No longer will I ever be able to say that I am too young to care about something, this is the beginning of my transition into manhood. Which is not to say I won't still do crazy shit and enjoy every minute of it, but, damn.

I remember growing up that I could never imagine what my life would be like past the age of 18. 18 was the magic year, that something crazy would happen that was so beyond comprehension that speculation could never come close. And here I am, five years past that point. But, to be honest, every single day is a surprise to me, and my prediction was right in that every day since then has been without vision. I never even planned to be this old, much less what I would do were something cataclysmic not to occur. I honestly don't know how I've made it this far, and done what I've done coasting from day to day how I have. But now I have a plan, at least for the next two years. Nothing like what I thought, but who's life ever is?

And, in keeping with the nature of all journals I keep, I have to talk about girls. I almost resent in a way the fact that my feelings towards women in my life are admittedly the one thing that gives me cold feet about moving. It's like, I get ready to leave, and then of course, like clockwork, there is someone in my life that makes leaving for several years seem like a horrible idea. I wanted to miss nothing and no one when I leave, and I know now that I will, for sure, and a lot. Ugh. Curse you women, and your capacity to make me want to abandon everything to give myself to you.

I'll just cross my fingers that when I come back, she'll be at a similar point in her life, where being in a serious, potentially forever kinda relationship is in the cards. Cause that would be nice. I'd have no problem with that.