Natoko Nantoko

And so on and so forth. Life's been pretty ho-hum in the last couple days, nothing really all that exciting to say. Kerry, the Area Manager, came to my branch yesterday to talk to Emi about some problems that have been coming up with scheduling, and that was exciting in the kind of way only a boss's presence can be.
Today is normally my kids day from hell, with my Junior class that I enjoy so very much, but I had Emi talk to them beforehand and tell them that if they spoke in Japanese or ran or fought in class they would be severly disciplined, and that seemed to work. Apparently they think Emi is scary, and well, lol sometimes I can see why they would think that.

I was thinking about payday again today. I hate how much time I spend thinking about money. It's so consuming, and emotionally taxing, thinking about finances all the time. I mean, even when I'm excited because of the potential for financial stability, I still know that the fact I think about it at all makes it tainted. I hate it because I know that I'm excited only because I've been without for so long.

What got to me was that now that I've been living like this for so long, and being such a penny pincher wherever possible, I don't really want to let it go. All I can think about is how much I could save if I just continued to live how I have been. It's not like I'm eating scraps off other people's plates and fishing through the garbage, so really, what's the point in living extravagantly and having little to show for it but a beer gut? But at the same time I know I need to afford myself nice things once in a while just to give myself a reason to save, and reward myself. I dunno, it's frustrating in its own little way.

Basically, I'm faced with being financially responsible and paying off as much credit debt as possible as soon as possible, maintaining my current budget of meager living and steady repayment of debt, or spend the money I have left over on nice things and nights out on the town. My concern is that I'll get swept away in the excitement of having a paycheck that's actually more than enough and never get into the habit of saving anything. Time to button down I guess and stick to my guns for long enough to have some padding. Padding would be nice.

Basically, I'd rather have a fat wallet than a fat tummy. It would seem that saving money is costing me calories, and that's a price I'm willing to pay.