Anticipation

I'm sitting here with a warm bowl of rice with natto, thinking about how Tyler is going to be here in five days, and how excited I am about it. Additionally, I'm going to swing my Kita Kogane after work today and see Melissa, thanks to my finally deciding if I want to talk to her I'm going to have to just say screw it and call her, rather than adhere to her habit of only sending me text messages, despite getting phone calls from just about everyone else in the universe on a regular basis and talking to them while I'm in the room at length. Whoops, that was a little venting too I guess.

Anyway, I went though MySpace today and left comments on like a million people's pages, I had that odd feeling today that comes and goes now and again like everyone back home has kinda forgotten I exist, and I wanted to get back in touch with people and remind them that I do. This is, admittedly, about as close to being homesick as I get. I knew when I came out here that my friendships would be subject to some strain, and they've held up well I think, but, all the same that paranoia that comes now and again with seperation sometimes is a good thing as it motivates me to maintain my relationships with other people actively, whereas normally I would just have faith we're still friends and not bother too much with it.
There are some of my friendships, however, such as Amanda and Christy, that thanks to changes in their relationship status, our friendship has either become significantly less important to them, or what seems like something of a bother. People change in relationships, I know that, but, at least in Amanda's case, it makes me feel really, well, taken advantage of, to be such a pillar in someone's life and then to be dropped down to a bottom rung friend essentially when a boyfriend comes along. What was I to her then? A stand in? No matter I guess, time will tell.

It feels good to be excited about seeing Melissa again, as opposed to the relative dread I had earlier when things weren't going so well. I'm starting to feel like maybe we actually are in a relationship now, and though I know it will take me a while to really settle into that and start acting like it, it's nice to know that the possibility of that actually happening is there. I dunno what we're going to do tonight, but as long as it involves time together and a little hand holding, I'm alright.