It's entirely possible I just fucked over forever any chance Natascha and I ever had at being friends. After a long, honest talk about our feelings, I told her, in exactly these words, "I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you." at which point she left to go home, and that was that. I feel her actions were called for, and as such I'm not going to try to stop her from feeling what she does. I sent her an apology, but at the same time, i know in my heart that's what i must have been feeling, to say such a hugely unapologetic or straightforward or blatantly rude thing to someone. I'm going to puke now then put myself to bed. Best of luck to me working this one out.