Get Over It

No matter what it is, it seems that the answer to all life's problems, especially ones regarding interpersonal relationships, seems to be that.

Eek, I'm blogging from work. I think in some way that makes me a bad person. I should be working, but the thing is I only have two classes today, and even then there's no prepatation for them and I know exactly what we're doing. The bad thing is the phone is on my desk, so teachers stand in front of me a lot. Hmmm.

Anyway, I've been thinking about the funk I'm in regarding my S.O. recently, and after talking with Ty a little and reading what some other people have discussed, I've decided, much how I'm sure she would tell me as well, that I'm just thinking about it too much. There's a surprise.

The pattern in her behavior I'm taking issue with isn't new, it's not a recent development, so why all of a sudden should I find it unacceptable? I'm the one that's changed, why am I taking issue with her? Doesn't make sense, so.

She's not the call, talk on the phone all the time type. I never see her on the phone basically ever. She texts people, but it's not really anything I should be worried about. There's no problem with her not calling me all the time, she doesn't call anyone really. Tadaa, no problem.

If she's the type that waits for the guy to call, that wants the guy to make the decisions, the type that was raised with more conservative traditional relationship values, then you could say, from her point of view, I'm screwing this up royally by basically not only faulting her for doing what she thinks is only proper, but putting her in an impossible position by essentially demanding that she violate those norms for me. All of a sudden I'm boxing her in, adding stress to her life at a time when she's already got so much, because of things at work.

It's my job, as her boyfriend, to do everything in my power to take away her stress, to help her feel relaxed. I thought about that last night when I had a brief moment of clarity. She comes to me to get away from the stress of her life, to help it go away, and now I'm adding to that stress. Why would she come to me when I'm doing exactly the opposite of what I'm supposed to? No wonder she's going to the gym instead of hanging out with me. The gym doesn't create stress.

So, if I want to be happy in this relationship, I need to be more aware of the factors in play, and do my job as her boyfriend better. I need to be the oasis in her life again. And I need to take the reigns and start leading the way, because maybe what she wants after having all that weight on her shoulders, is for someone to carry her just for a little bit.

I think I can do that.