The End: Part 2

Well, in times of crisis, there's only one thing a man such as myself can do, and that's blog constantly about it.

Greg is going to send an email off to Interac, the company he works for, in conjunction with my online application that I sent off last night and received a confirmation email for this morning. Hopefully we will be able to work something out where I begin working as soon as possible, assuming they like anything about me and would want to hire me.

This morning all I can do is look outside at the sky, sunny, with a few clouds stretching out lazily across the sky. There's a cool wind blowing, Ty's laundry is rocking back and forth in front of my balcony sliding door, and the sound of the wind picking up sounds like the noise when rope is being pulled from a reel quickly. Fall is setting in, though it's still warm in the sun, the air will sweep away your warmth should you let it. It's admittedly a nice time of year, I can begin to smell the familiar scents of this season, farmers burning leaves, the drop in humidity and temperature that makes the air feel somehow sharper. Unlike Ty who loves this temperature, I have my heater on at night, have for a week or two now, but when I wake up some days my room is far too hot.

I have a three day weekend now anyway, but it's going to be a much longer one now I think. Why is beyond me but at times like this I just kinda want to walk around in the silence of the world and just look at things. Walk to the station without having to catch a train, take my time and just look at things I never really have the chance to when I'm trying to get there in 13 minutes. My neighborhood is really quiet, so it's nice sometimes to move around in a world that's on mute, hearing my footsteps and the wind only as I navigate streets and pathways.

I have to debate now whether or not to go to work on Tuesday, presumably after not having been paid. A large part of me says not to, there's no point, I'm not getting paid for it so why should I? But the other part of me is split in two as well. Half of half of me wants to go to work out of respect for my students, they paid money too and are getting shafted in a different but similar way; they'll never get their money back and my refusal to come to work all but assures they'll never get any real value out of it either. The other half of half of me says I should say fuck it, have some fun, go to work in regular clothes, just be a regular guy at work, give out my number to anyone who wants it, for private lessons and the like, and get my stuff that I've allow to accumulate there over the years. I think that's what I'm going to do, at least assuming I have nothing better to do, like a job interview or something.

The kicker at this point is my visa. The not having heard back about it is really starting to get to me, but at this point I'm anticipating the death blow to me personally of being denied. Basically if I get a visa I can at least attempt to salvage my life here, but, there's no hope of that if I don't. I'd have to go home, soonish, and then what? Try to come back again? Stay in America and go to grad school? Get some lousy entry level job and get stuck? That much I'm not ready to really consider yet, though, like the job applications I should have been sending out a while ago, I should think about it now while it's still up in the air.

I took out $1k to get me through this month, assuming come Friday we still don't get paid, which we won't. It's not going to be pleasant paying it off, but what other option do I have? I've got bills, man. Even if I don't stick around here, money has to be in my checking account every month; the US Government isn't very forgiving of tardiness regarding the renumerance of student loans.

Well, anyway, I've got a lot of free time on my hands, so, today I think will be me cleaning a whole bunch, writing here, and otherwise trying to keep myself occupied. Ah, maybe I should write my resume, since I can't find my old copy.