Blast from the past

Well, not really one particular incident, but, I mean, in general, living here is. Even though I have all my belongings, most of them at least that I didn't throw away, it's still weird for me trying to synthesize my life down in Eugene with living in Tualatin. I get the distinct impression I will be spending a great deal of my time here in Portland. Tualatin has become really right wing, and maybe it's just that the Euge corrupted me or something, but, I kinda need to be around people that are...I dunno, not driving trucks, don't have like 3 kids at 24, like all the gay ass new rock I hear on the radio, that sorta thing. It's sad that I have such distaste for my hometown, this is certainly not the climate I grew up in. Or maybe it was, and I just wasn't attuned to it. Either way, still puts me in an awkward position.

Every time I go somewhere now, whether it be a bar or a grocery store or a restaurant, I get the distinct impression that I do not fit in. I'm pretty much the only 'city kid' I see around here. I wear black, but I'm not some goth kid, and I have piercings, but no tattoos. So when I go into the bars, I just feel like I'm alone. I feel like wherever I go I have either some perspective, or world view that is just completely foreign to these people. Like....they're all townies. Which they pretty much are. And if I haven't mentioned it before, I'll come back to this again and again. I hate townies. Anyone who's been here for 3 or 4 years since their last year of school is a townie. I.e. anyone who didn't go to college, or stopped, and moved back here and hasn't left again. I feel this mutual resentment between me and these people when I go places around here like, "I recognize you from before you/I left. You/I've grown, and seen the world, and have aspirations that go beyond tomorrow or the weekend. You/I know things and have learned things I/you haven't the faintest idea about and that means you/I just don't belong here. Go back to the city, kid/me."

I need to find the indy/emo crowd here in Portland, and find their bar, and start going there. I need my own private Indigo District. Either that or *gasp* I'm going to have to start making regular trips back down to Eugene, just to get my fix.

Oh, and anyway, the reason for the title is cause I went out with Jennee L tonight, and we played the name game, trying to name off people we went to high school. It's weird to have names flood back into your brain that you had forgotten, and smack yourself when you don't remember names you should. Made me think entirely too much about high school, and makes me feel weird thinking that I actually knew most everybody's name when I was there.
K, I'm done.