Well Travelled?

I was thinking today about how a lot of people from Europe and other countries tend to think of Americans as poorly travelled, and haven't seen much of the world. So I got to doing some number crunching, as I tend to like to do (thanks, Dad), and came to an interesting conclusion.

The U.S., since us Americans are being compared to countries that use that godawful metric system, is just over 9.7 million sq. kilometers. I've been to every state in the U.S. except Alaska.
The continent of Europe is approximately the same size. Australia is a little smaller.

That means, for any Aussie or European that wants to call me, or any other American like me, poorly travelled, or more closely, less well travelled than they, they would have had to have traversed the entirety of their own continent and then some.

Japan is 377,835 sq. km. California is 410,000 sq. km. I've driven I-5 from Canada to Tijuana, in pieces, on numerous occasions. Starting to get the picture here?
The average American puts 13,000 miles on their car each year. That's enough mileage to drive from New York to Paris 3.5 times, from New York to Tokyo twice.

If an American visits 10 states in his or her life, they've covered more distance than most Europeans that have been to 6 or 7 other countries. The only difference is the American hasn't left the country.

In my life, I've been to 49/50 states, England, (at the time West) Germany, Italy, and Japan. All countries, for the record, that fought against the U.S. in one war or another. By the time I move home I plan to have visited Australia, Thailand, Korea, Vietnam, Micronesia and Indonesia. Maybe even Russia and China. I've been to 3 of 7 continents.

Please, don't go around thinking Americans aren't well travelled. We've got a whole lot of country to see right at home.

Rain again today. After a few days of nice weather, at least in the mornings, it's decided to go ahead and just be rainy all day now. But I suppose I have more important things to catch up on than rain.

Monday after work I met up with Melissa in Matsudo and we had a drink down at the little dive. We just talked over a beer, but it was a really nice conversation, and we talked a lot about how much we try to keep cool around each other and how it pretty much fails. I think we spend the whole time blushing, and thinking how cool this is. We both made the statement that we weren't looking for a relationship, but we seem open to the idea that things happen for a reason.

Tuesday was our big date, we met up around 5pm and headed out to Shinagawa, where we went to the Shinagawa Prince hotel, to check out the rollercoaster (her first) the aquarium, the dolphin show, and eventually the 39th floor Top of the Shinagawa Prince restaurant and lounge, where we had a few cocktails and got to be a lot closer.

I'll edit in the rest of this after work.

A Convo With Tracey

ugh, so, good times at disney.
*yea?
I pitched an idea to Iger.
*Iger?
I felt like peeing my pants while trying to be animated and interesting.
the CEO of Disney.
*OOOH.
oh yeah... you live like... not in america.
he's awesome.
he said Narnia sucked. He was happy it did well, but said he hopes the director takes directing lessons and gets at least 2 emotions besides dumb out of those kids.
Now I want to marry him and have his babies.
*hahaha
*brilliant
*absolutely brilliant

Dreams and Marriage

Well, I gotta admit it's nice having Ty back. The house seems to have taken on a little of its former feel, and I'm thankful for that.

I had a weird dream last night, that I was at my friend Sachiko's wedding, but it was like this odd gala event, with spotlights and tons of people. It took place like in a gymnasium and people were standing on the bleachers like a high school assembly. It was this big, larger than life event and in that sense it was pretty cool. I was standing with Stephanie and Mark Robertson, and we were one of many groups of people recognized during the ceremony, as the bride and groom were going around thanking groups of people that had been influential in their lives.
During one part, I ducked into the bathroom, and Marilee, Cole's mom was in there, and she asked to borrow my razor. She grabbed it and when the button didn't work as my battery is dead she looked at me like, wtf, but then started using it to trim her hair a little, which was pretty short, in this kinda cool short style cut. She was all flustered and nervous as she, well, tends to always be, and I told her she would end up looking like Sinead O'Connor and dragged her back out to the ceremony. Dunno what that was about.

Anyway, it got me thinking about my own wedding, and some non-traditional ideas about the ceremony. I certainly don't want some gala event, but I think it would be a cool thing to take the time to recognize my friends and family. A marriage, to me, is held together by more than just the will of two people to forge a new path as one life against the will and weather of time. A marriage is the joining together of two worlds, and two lives, and is supported by all the people that make those lives what they are. So really, when people get married they are bringing together all of those friends, all of those families, and making them one, and in that sense, joining the world a little closer together, so I think that celebrating the friendships that make each life meaningful is the very essence of celebrating a new marriage.

I hope that when I get married I can take that time to spotlight those meaningful relationships in both my life and my wife's, to symbolize the greater connection that takes place. Thanks, random dream.

Return

I got a text from Ty when I got off work today. Yes, that means he did, in fact, get out of jail this evening. When I claled him he was at a restaurant having a steak dinner. That's aweosme, way to get out of jail buddy. I was really happy. But, on the other hand I have to ask myself, is that something really worth being so happy about? I mean, the guy went to jail, and frankly, the getting there part really really pissed me off because of the position he put me in. Had I stayed any longer I would have been involved in the whole thing, but then again had I stayed I could have prevented it. Who knows.

Anyway, the fact is he's out now and on the way home. He asked me if I wanted anything on the way home, so he's bringing me some sushi, a loaf of white bread, and a beer. The beer's for me.

Welcome home, Ty. Change the litter box. It stinks.

For The Record

I'm about to do something phenomenally stupid.

I'm about to give in and spend maybe $40 or so playing craps online. Yay for gambling.

*edit* Lost it all, in maybe 30 minutes. It was a fun 30 minutes tho.

Hot Date?

I have a severly H'd A right now, it's been that way since Monday night. I had hoped it would go away during the course of the day, but it hasn't, and now I'm a little concerned. The severity of it would merit it sticking around for a day or two, but, if it doesn't correct itself soon, I'm going to get worried and have to do something about it.

In other news, I mentioned Melissa to Allen at work today, and before I had even finished my sentence Allen completed it, describing her to me and commenting that apparently she's the apple of just about everyone else's eye as well. This was, of course, to be expected, but, now what comes to mind is that naggint in the back of one's head doubt that her affection towards me is sincere. Which, of course, I have no choice but to trust, but on the other hand, I might as well not set myself up. I might as well stop reading into things as my over-analytical self tends to do, especially when presented with an opportunity I'd been looking for unsuccessfully for several years. Not that that happens all that often.

I'm in the middle of a text exchange with her now, and she asked me what I'd like to do when we go out on Monday night (we're going out together Monday night mwahahaha). This of course, is a horrible question to ask me when I'm not intimately familiar with a place, though I should be after 7 months of living here. EEEEEK. Dangit. I've officially gone into freak out mode.

*edit* after consulting Dave, my roommate, it's been decided. The Shinagawa Prince Hotel, which features several bars at the top of the New Tower, breathtaking views and all. And, if we like, we can take a ride on the rollercoaster that's built in to the building itself. They apparently have a decently cheap nomihoudai there and it's a chance to check out Tokyo a little more, for the new girl. Basically, it's perfect, except for being so far away. Oh well, train rides are train rides.

As If By Magic

Bryan called me back shortly after my last post and informed me that we were, in fact, going to go to the Lex, and to get my dancing shoes on. So, at about 10:30 I left to go meet them (Rob, Eleni, Bryan and Brett, his friend visiting from Canada) in Shin Matsudo, and we went out to the Lex(ington Queen).

This turned out to be a much better idea than I had previously given it credit for.

Things were looking to turn out much like any other evening in Roppongi, meeing up with Bryan's friends and kinda standing around watching the Russian women make themselves look better than they do by being arrogant. But then Barbara and Sammy showed up and it looked like it might be a better night than anticipated, just cause I was drunk and female company is nice. But theeeeeeeen, SHE showed up with them. *insert foggy swirl into backstory*

*Natascha's birthday party, last week* I'm sitting there next to Dave in Wara Wara in Matsudo and I notice there is a group of new teachers there. I had noticed them before, because I tactlessly mistook them for students as two of them are of Asian descent. They are, in fact, Australians. One of whom happens to be, well, gorgeous. The kind of smooth features and slightly feline set that characterizes what I've come to understand as a kind of Chinese beauty. She's not overly skinny, and generally carries a really pleasant, smily air. The natural assumption of course, is that she has a boyfriend. I make a note to myself to admire from a distance.

*swirl to Sunday night with Walter and the gang at Nijyu Maru* I'm sitting there next to Vinny at Nijyu Maru when the two girls from Natascha's party and another guy show up to join us. It seems that Ms. Pretty and the guy are talking a lot, and evidences my previous hypothesis that she's taken. My energies are concentrated elsewhere, except when Sammy starts talking to me about how pretty she is. We don't say so much as a word to one another, nor does she really look at me, so, I note that she's essentially way out of my league. I'm really bad at foreshadowing.

*fog fades, returns to the Lex* So I'm sitting there at the Lex enjoying my entirely weak whiskey cola when SHE walks in. I make a note to keep my distance, but then as I'm talking to the person next to her she pats the bench and I sit down next to her. Her name, for the record, is Melissa. Her initials, as I will come to find out, are MELT. Two middle names. She's half Chinese and half Phillipina. Good guess on my part.
We get to talking, and well, we don't stop talking really. We talk and talk and talk, and something is blinking in the back of my head saying "What the fuck is going on here this has gotta be some kinda sick joke." Outta nowhere she asks me what kind of girl I like, and in my typical ever-so-suave can-you-tell-I'm-not-so-good-with-these-kinds-of-things fashion, I say, "Well, I'm sorry this is going to sound really phenomenally cheesy here, I know, but, um, you. I'm historically unattracted to Asian descent but uh, yea. You're pretty much the most gorgeous person I've met in this country."
The wierd part was, she was coy about it. She was actually quite flattered. And, as expected, she said I must be full of it. So after a short moment of silence, my curiosity got the better of me, and I returned the question. Her answer?
"Um...you. You're the only person I've met here that I think is attractive.(this sounded much more flattering at the time. thanks booze.) Do you have a girlfriend here? You probably have like ten, yea?"
"Ha. Yea right. Thanks though, but uh yea, no. I take it you're seeing someone? The guy you were with out at Nijyu Maru the other night?"
"Oh, no not at all."
"Ah, sorry. I kind of assumed since you were talking the whole time. You kinda carry yourself like you're taken. It's kind of intimidating, I've sat at the same table as you twice now and we've never so much as said a word. I didn't think you even would recognize me here."
"What are you talking about? You're the intimidating one. I was too scared to talk to you."

At this point that blinking light started burning a hole in the back of my head. I took a moment to turn around mentally to see what the fuck all that blinking was about, and I realized it was the little reminder note I keep back there telling me not to forget that Just-In-Case Engagement Ring I have sitting around for such an occasion.

Additionally, she was getting hit on left and right that night, and I suppose I was too, and everyone else was busy watching the two of us hit it off, and commenting on how the two of us were essentially fighting people off with a stick to get back to being around one another. She told me basically I'm too good to be true, I denied it thoroughly, reciprocated, and asked her for her number, which she gladly gave me, telling me she hopes to see me again soon.

So uh, yea. Good night. Melissa. Yea. Hokay, time to go to bed, and contain my excitement a little. Oh, yea, I wasn't able to visit Ty today because I slept too late once I actually managed to fall asleep, Dave's computer is all caddy-wompus, cat shit smells like cat shit, Rob and Eleni's relationship is royally fucked, and my back was so sore this morning I couldn't sleep from the pain. It seems to have gotten better since.

Putting Myself Out There

I had a conversation on Saturday wtih Eleni while working in Kashiwa about my single status, and what I was looking for and everything, she seemed happy to talk to me about it, and shared a lot of thoughts and background on herself, which seems to be the norm for people when I talk to them. I seem to have a knack for making people feel like they can tell me their life stories, which in and of itself I have no objection to, it's just weird the frequency with which it happens.

She wanted to know what I was looking for in a girl, and this is what I said:
I won't have sex with a girl anymore that I wouldn't want to have kids with, which means my standards for a sex partner are pretty much as harsh as they get. But, that doesn't matter because I'm not looking for a girl to have sex with. I'm looking for female companionship, someone to spend time with and go do shit together, and if there happens to be more to it than that, well, great. She got caught up on this for a while, until I clarified a little futher that my standards for a partner do not in any way apply to my desire for companionship, at which point she realized that those two things can in fact function together at the same time.

Sunday I worked in Matsudo and afterwards I went out with Samantha and Walter and Vinny to the dive bar and Nijyu Maru after that, where we enjoyed a great many drinks, cigarettes, and funny conversation topics. I seemed to bond a little bit with Walter, which is really good because for a long time he was kind of an untouchable character, and now it seems we've gotten to be friends. Good shit.

I was supposed to pull an all nighter in Roppongi tonight with Bryan and his crew, but it seems that they've decided to be big giant vaginas and stay home after a long day of shopping and traveling around. They've moved their trip to Wednesday night, a night when Rob and Eleni have planned an all nighter already, because of their days off, but I can't go then because I work. So basically everything got swapped around to make it so that I really can't go to anything he's doing this week while his friends are visiting. I missed his show on Saturday because of work, and I will miss the all nighter too, and going to Mito with them tomorrow because I have to go visit Ty in the slammer.

In further news on that matter, it seems that the decision regarding his status will be made by Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, and thanks to a great deal of translating on the part of Naoko, there have been many papers signed and filled out which may be helping out Ty's case. Naoko got the person Ty assaulted to sign a document saying they forgive him for what he did and that they will not press charges, but the matter of the policeman he bit still remains a mystery. I will find out more tomorrow when I go to visit him. He needs more books, cause he's finished all the ones I brought him last time. Little wonder, only three books and he's been in there a week since I last saw him.

Singality

I just looked over at my iPod while already listening to music, thinking if I switched to it my music would somehow be better, or that I could access songs more directly, shortly before realizing I'm on my freaking computer itself, where all my music resides to begin with. I'm such a dumbass sometimes.

Anyway, I've gotten a lot of flack lately for, well, being as single as I have been. There's a new guy, Ritchie, and three days after arriving landed one of the hottest g/f's I've seen a Nova teacher get. Come to think of it, almost every single teacher I know has a girlfriend, or at least someone they're sleeping with. Kieran asked me about my date with Yukari, a student, today at work, which came a shock admittedly, well, cause Kieran is an AT, i.e. my boss and hanging out with students is strictly prohibited, and then proceeded to tell me about his date with Yukari's friend, Naomi, and how he felt the same way I did about my date, i.e. it was boring. He was surprised I acted confused when I brought it up, I think he might have forgotten for a second what it would normally mean to have that sort of thing brought up if, well, he cared a little more than he does.

Well, the point is here that now I've even got managers giving me shit about being single for as long as I have. "You gotta get yourself out there" they say, "you gotta make an effort man" and so on, but I mean, shit, everybody else it seems like has had someone practically fall into their laps. That's not to say I haven't had women make themselves available to me, it's just, well, not the right one. I know that logic is flawed, but, shit. I wanna be picky damnit. All the same, I want to be seeing somebody. I think.

Or is it just pressure? I mean, what if I'm fine being single? I've been fine for this long, being single and watching my friends have relationships that inevitably fail, but, I mean, erg, I dunno. I'm a wuss, I guess. There are girls that I know want something more from me, so why do I hold back? ;alkdjsf;aswerhuuh4r. Yeah.

Emily made a comment a little while back that I secretly like myself. I've been thinking about that lot lately, and you know, she hit the nail on the head. I really do pretty much like myself. But one thing I lack is well, balls, when it comes to girls. I wish I understood a little better what it was that's at the root of my aversion to well, women, but it seems that the only real relationships I've had have pretty much just kinda happened. I've never been good at making the first move, or keeping it going, or really anything, despite my nearly flawless ability to flirt given the right circumstances. Arg. I should be dating models, but I'm not. Not only am I not dating uber hot mega girls I'm not dating anyone at all. I'm not even shooting below my potential. Gosh I am such a dumbass sometimes.

Ever wonder if people hook up with old friends because they were holding out for so long for something better and then one day, they kinda realized that there was a friend of theirs that was doing the exact same thing and neither of you had any luck, so subconsciously they moved towards each other to alleviate their mutual unmet needs? Why are those relationships so treasured? They say you should marry your best friend, does that mean that I should settle for someone else who's held out as long as they could with the same result as myself?

Police HQ: Take 2

Went back downtown today (haha I love saying that) to drop off Ty's passport to the authorities. Anyway, when I got there I spoke to Lieutenant Miaoka, and when he arrived he waved me back to the questioning rooms again and we sat down, lit up a cigarette, and started chatting again, this time all in Japanese due to the non-compulsory nature of my visit.

We just say there smoking a cigarette shooting the shit for a bit, it was weird, he told me he went out drinking last night and he was really tired, said I looked tired too and asked if I had work today. We talked about our preferences in alcohol, and clarified that Heineken is in fact Swedish beer not American. I explained what a microbrew is and why I prefer them to standard American macros.

Then, when it came time to sign off on the passport, maybe four or five other people came in, and it was this kind of Field Day almost, people were laughing and asking if I could understand them and translating the things I didn't know and oohing and aaahing at my ability to 'read' the kanji on the forms, even though in reality I just did the exact same thing I did yesterday and in the same order, which happened to be correct.

It's weird, I don't know if that's just the way they treat people to encourage them to be compliant, or if I somehow managed to actually get on these people's good sides despite the fact my friend is in their custody locked up 20 meters behind us. It doesn't feel right being so friendly with police officers when my friend is miserable like he is, but at the same time, I can't help feeling like the more relaxed I make them feel, the greater the change some of that good will might diffuse onto Ty and help him out.

Basically, I don't care what the reason is, if it helps Ty then I will do it, and gladly. It's just a little easier given that what I have been doing is just being myself and making people smile.

Life On The Inside

Ty's pretty well broken at this point, he's been there for 6 days. The worst part of seeing a person in shame is the knowledge that they cannot remember what they did to get there.

He blacked out around 4:30am, I knew it when it happened too, and after that he remembers nothing. Apparently, on top of picking a fight with some Japanese folks, he resisted arrest, shoving and biting one of the officers, which is why, we suspect, he wasn't allowed a phone call for 5 days.

I made my statement today down at the Harajuku Police Station, took about 3.5 hours total, going over the details of that night which were largely still a mystery to the police, and Ty too for that matter. They asked a lot of questions about Ty as a person, and his nonexistent history of violence or aversion to police authority. I defended him as well as I could, and in my statement I painted a pretty clear picture that he's a responsible, caring person who went a little too far this time around. The Lieutenant and the Interpreter seemed to enjoy my company for what it's worth, and though the experience was akin to all the old movies you see of well, police questioning, all in all it went pretty well. It seems now they understand that this kind of thing is extremely out of character for him, which is good.

Talking to Ty personally was the hardest part. It's hard to imagine the vast difference of worlds between one side of that glass and the other. It was hard for us both, talking, especially for him hearing the things that he had done. He told me personally that there is no way on Earth I should feel in any way responsible for the position he is in, after I mentioned feeling bad for leaving him how I did. He'll be there for at least another 5 days, maybe Thursday if his lawyer can work some magic. I brought him down some books and some extra clothes, I'm sure he's happy to be out of the ones he was wearing.

We've decided to keep this a pretty hush hush thing. Only a certain few of us know exactly what the details are, the rest will just know that either he's in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, or that he's away for something very personal, that we can't discuss.

He's safe though, he's not hurt, and the people involved as well were not hurt, and that's good. I just want him to come home. Trust me, he wants to come home too. There's nothing worse than hearing a man behind bars of all places tell you, "Well, you pretty much can't get any lower than this. I've hit rock bottom, here."

Sonar Ping

I got a call from Hillary earlier today, looking for Ty because he hadn't shown up for work today. I explained the situation.

I got another call from her asking me to call her boss, who wanted to help look for him. Together, she called the police and started the process of filing a proper missing persons report. She called back later to ask me to come to the Nagareyama Police Station tomorrow to give a detailed description.

I got another call later from Ty's boss asking me to come with them today, since it had been so long since he was last seen, but while I was in the shower I missed a call, and come to find out it was an Officer from the Harajuku Police Station, informing me that my presence was required as part of an investigation concerning the arrest of one Ty W. So I called back, and found out that shortly after I parted ways with Ty on the train he assaulted a Japanese person and was arrested shortly afterwards.

I have to go down to the station tomorrow with the aid of an interpreter to give a formal statement regarding the case. It seems he's been arrested for Assault, and well, I don't know the laws concerning assault in this country, but I'm sure they are not beyond deporting him back to the States. For this I am concerned, but, fundamentally I'm relieved because he's alive and that's the most important thing.

So, tomorrow I will go down and give a statement about what I remember and do my best to leave a good impression on the Legal System of Japan, but, having said that, I don't know what the best approach is to do this without unintentionally making his situation worse. Anybody out here intimately familiar with the Japanese legal system?

Phone Calls and Crossed Fingers

I called the Embassy today and reported Ty missing. Due to the rules of the Privacy Act though, no information about his whereabouts may be revealed to me, nor any message passed to him via the Consulate. The most they can do is relay to him that he is being searched for and to urge him to contact us as soon as possible.

The worst part is that the lady on the phone more or less implied that the search is a passive process, rather than an active one. After providing my information, she neither asked where he was last seen or where he lives now other than the prefecture and city. She said that they will keep an eye out for any information that pops up with his name on it, which means arrests and hospitalizations, which require the notification of the Consulate. They didn't even ask me how long he had been missing, I volunteered it.

So, needless to say, I'm once again a little unimpressed by the willingness of the United States Government to help its citizens on an individual level, but I hope that now he will at least be located. If he's located, I can figure out if he's alive, and that's really all that matters.

Shame

I can't get over this feeling like Ty's being missing is entirely my fault. Things wouldn't be this way had I stayed with him. I argue this with myself over and over, that had I left when he asked me to, or had I caught my train in the first place, would any of this have happened?

I stayed with him for hours, trying to talk him down and keep him out of trouble, and in the end, I left because there was nothing I could do any longer to hold him back. Or was there? Could I have tried harder? Is this my fault?

Every time I think about it now my hands turn to fists and I want to punch through the walls when I look at the empty bedroom that's remained untouched and unused for three straight days. I look for him when I am going to work, every time I hear someone on the stairs I think it's him, and for a moment my heart lightens, but I know it's not him. I'm afraid to turn the handle on the house when I get home because I know when I do it will be locked as it was when I last left it. And when I turn the key and feel the deadbolt slide as well I feel whatever hope I had slide with it away, hidden somewhere inside that door until I lock it again, hoping it will have unlocked itself by the time I return.

Ty, I need you to come home. Because I'm worried about you, and selfishly because I couldn't forgive myself if something happened because I didn't try harder to help you.

Sleep Deprivation and Missing Roommates

To bring you up to speed, it's been something of a hectic week. Wendesday night, I went out with Ty to a baseball game after work, which we thought would be a Giants vs. Yakult game, but turned out to be a Toyo Univ. vs. Asia Univ. college game. Needless to say by the end of the game we were leading cheers for Asia Univ. and had been accepted into the student body, though unfortunately our team lost in extra innings.

After that, we went to Shinjuku for drinks, and found a couple cool bars, including a rock bar that was actually pretty decent, though tiny. I tried to catch the last train back, but missed it, and barely made it back in time to catch Ty on the way out. We wound up catching a taxi to Roppongi where we looked with no success for an ATM. Ty somehow managed to buy some coke, and we went to a hooka bar and enjoyed some sheesha which was pretty tasty. After that we went to a few other bars, where I met a coupel of cool people and Ty left me there to go somewhere with a girl we met. He came back a half our later or so.

We went to another bar when that closed, and I came back to where we were when I got done dancing and Ty was gone. He had been kicked out. I went outside to find him and he was trying to pick a fight with 5 black guys. I dragged him away, narrowly avoiding disaster, and attempted to convince him to go home while he was trying to get away and talk to strangers, pick fights, and hit on women. I finally got him onto a train around an hour later, must have been around 6:30am, but after we were on the train he tried to get up again and start talking to people, and I told him that I didn't have the strength to hold him back. He kept it up, and I walked to the front of the train, saying I would meet him at home.

Well, he never came home. That was Thursday morning, it's Sunday evening now. Still nothing. I'm worried sick and tomorrow I will have to call the US Embassy to report him missing. He was on a train last I saw him, so I can only assume he got arrested, but I'm worried he got off and went back to Roppongi and picked another fight and got himself hospitalized or worse.

I called in sick to work that day and that night I went to Paul Van Dyk at ageHa with Greg, and again got no sleep. It's been rough.

I'm trying to figure out what to do about Ty. If he doesn't show up tomorrow morning, I'm going to be seriously worried. I have my fingers crossed and my prayers reserved for him. Please come hom.