01-30 - 9:32am

01-30 - 9:32am

Well, since it would be impossible for me to miss or be late for work in the next two days seeing as they’re both off, it would seem as if I’ve completed my first month of work with perfect attendance. 1 for 3. I rock. In all honesty, it’s been almost two months since my last tardy, but, whatever. This paycheck should be complete, in its entire potentiality. Oooh, especially since this month I’m off probation. The best part about having arrived when I did is that my first day was the first of the month, so my first paycheck would have been whole were I not late. And since my orientation was on the 31st, my work history started that day, and as such my probation was due to end the 31st of December, meaning that if I got off probation that day, the 1st of January would be my first day as a regular instructor. You get regular salary paychecks from the first full month you’re off probation, it’s a great way to avoid double pro-rating your paycheck, i.e. cutting the amount you get paid for their convenience.
So, seeing as I am a regular instructor now, this paycheck will reflect it. It’s not like it’s going to make a huge difference, the additional 15k I’ll get is going straight to Ty for the 15k I couldn’t pay for my down payment on the apartment. And I’m paying double rent again this month, since my Nova apartment pays retrospectively. I really think they just do that to try to screw you into staying, since double rent for near two months isn’t pleasant even for the most financially secure instructors. But check this.
Feb.15th will roll around and I’ll get paid. After all is said and done with rent crap, back due rent and owing Greg money he loaned me at the beginning of Jan., I’ll have ￥25390
Left for the 28 days between paychecks. This is essentially the same place I was in this last month.
March 15th will roll around and I’ll get paid. After all is said and done with residual pro-rated last month’s rent, and the rest of the money I owe Greg, I’ll have ~￥116211.
April 15th? ~￥151890. It’s amazing what paying half the rent you were and paying off your salary advance will do for a paycheck.

4:38pm
I’ve decided to start marking a rating on all of my songs for iTunes. I have it set to play randomly, and so now every time a song comes on I will rate it. Zero stars will be unrated as of yet, 1 star is Bad, don’t wanna listen to it, 2 is mediocre, probably will skip it, 3 is good, probably will listen to it, 4 is really good, definitely will listen to it, and 5 is exceptional, songs that really blow my mind or mean something to me. Let’s see how this works out.
It’s also a really good way to pass a day without spending any money.
11:59pm
Well, 1,508 of 2,391 songs now have ratings. That’s a crapload of songs. I’ve decided to adapt my rating system subtly to allow for a party playlist that draws from all songs that are rated 3-5 stars. I think it’s time to go to bed. And maybe start listening to this playlist to see if I agree with my ratings.

01-29 – 10:15pm

01-29 – 10:15pm

Wow…last night was something else. A great deal of fun, with the exception of going grossly over budget. Aside from peeing something like 8 million times starting from the moment it was time for bed, not a lot to complain about. Today I was well, a zombie, and I just about blacked out every time I stood up for the first I dunno, 8 hours I was out of bed. I realized that it was because I hadn’t eaten anything in well, a long long time, but having taste buds that had all essentially ruptured from dehydration and gnashing the night before, nothing really tasted like it should. I had to force down a couple handfuls of kaki peanuts with the help of a large glass of water, and from there the slow process of returning to homeostasis began.
I smoked one cigarette the whole night though, which was monumental. I just had no desire whatsoever to smoke. Nice. I went nearly an entire day without smoking. Amazing what substance abuse and a hangover will do for you. I wonder if the risk/benefit ratio evened out.

Work today was interesting. I managed to get through the day, and actually managed to put some genki into my kids lesson, so it wasn’t a total loss. I am looking forward to another weekend of sleep and relaxation; tempered however by the imminent need to pack my worldly possessions in preparation for the move out in one week.

My horoscope for this week projected the following image for contemplation:
“A flock of birds taking flight in the moments before an earthquake.”

01-28 – 8:52am

01-28 – 8:52am

I really, really hate mornings. Have I mentioned that before? I hate them. I fell asleep last night when I got home from work at around 8pm, and slept until about 10, which was, as always a colossally bad idea, because then after that, there was no getting to sleep. It was an exercise in lying there patiently trying to fall asleep to little avail and great frustration. So, then, as a result of not being able to fall asleep until some much later hour, I wake up today tired and groggy, despite having gotten much more sleep than normal. Fuck.

When I was younger on vacation my brother and I took a canoe trip. Someone thought that would be a good idea. My brother halfway though it decided he would take the opportunity to perform a grand social experiment and did everything in his power to piss me off. He continually made fun of me, mocked me, taunted me, all under the justification that if he made me mad I would row harder. He kept telling me that from the back of the canoe in between taunts and jabs, until I turned around and swung straight at his face with the paddle. He’s lucky that it missed, but the paddle hit some rocks along the shore and shattered it. He shut up a little bit after that, and when we got back to the docks, despite my blatant fluster, we said that we had gotten stuck on some rocks and that the oar had broken while trying to push us free. That was the nature of my relationship with my brother for most of our lives living together. He desperately needed to wield control over his environment, and I desperately wanted to feel like he couldn’t own my emotions. He would have these absurd ‘great’ ideas and I think I was one of few people on whom he could test them, because I was the only person around to listen.

01-27 – 11:07am.

01-27 – 11:07am.

FUT2 training today. Yeehaw. I went over to Bryan’s house yesterday afternoon to hang out and get some music writing done, which was somewhat successful. After about 5 or 6 his roommate Quinn came home and we played craps for a while with the pennies from my penny jar. Er, one yen coins, I suppose. Screw it, pennies. Anyway, that was fun and then Bryan went to pick up his goodies, which I correctly anticipated would be missing one from the total when he got home. So last night was hanging out with his etarded ass and listening to him play guitar and sorta write music.
The best part was when he started to kinda insinuate directly to his roommate that his roomie didn’t like him all the best or that there was tension, and I kinda had to distract Bryan from this course as well, he and I were sober and as I told Ash this morning, “Sometimes people do things on E that normally wouldn’t be entirely appropriate.”

I stayed the night there last night, though I question my judgment today. I spent too much money, as anticipated, and accomplished little, honestly. I know the initial response to a comment like that is, ‘that’s just cause you didn’t join in’ but the fact is there are several kinds of people that do E. There are several kinds of behaviors which are brought out by E. Frankly, I tend to like one particular kind. See, some people wanna chill out and watch movies, some people, like Bryan, wanna sit down with a guitar and write some good heartfelt music. Some people are party animals, and go clubbing and dance all night and bring the heart of Cancun to wherever they are. Others, like myself and Greg, prefer small, in-group company, good techno, backrubs and generally being completely stupid and child-like.

It’s specifically the in-group company that is my point of contention with last night. See, I really think that drugs are the kind of thing that have to be done with, and only with, other people doing not only drugs as well, but the same drugs. See, mixing coke heads with etards is generally a bad idea. Mixing trippers with sober people, yea really doesn’t work. There’s just no patience for the mild psychosis drugs inflict on the user. When you get four or five people together however who are all rolling, in a safe, isolated environment, it’s all good. Cause at least then people all are on the same level, assuming they're the same kind of drug personality, which is something of great importance to Greg and I. The thing about drugs is that you really need to know yourself, your drug, and your dose. This is why you really have to scope out the people you’re going to do drugs with, cause there’s nothing worse than clashing personalities, just as in any social situation, but amplified here. First timers are always fun though, cause aside from the inevitable minor freak out as their body desperately tries to hold on to sobriety, you can really provide an atmosphere that lends itself to an intensely good experience.

Anyway, enough drug talk. I have to go to work. I’m sure all appendix this with delightfully meaningless information about training as soon as I return.

7:18pm

Training was just fine, uneventful as suspected. I’m now qualified to give level up’s, though I’ve already given one, whoops. Afterwards I went to dinner with Alana and Chantel, to the tempura place near the station, which was nice, except for the part where we somehow got onto the topic of borderline disorder, and had to talk about cutters, and I have to quickly divert the direction of the conversation because, well, Alana was one and I don’t think she knows I know that. Anyway, I’m excited for tomorrow, and I am going to go to bed very early tonight just so that I am well rested, and can jump right into the swing of things come Sunday morning. Or at least, as best I can.

01-26 – 11:00am

01-26 – 11:00am

Lol. 10:48am. Now, that’s not exactly true, I woke up around 6:45am fully rested, but decided to stay in bed for lack of anything to do.
I had a couple of dreams last night, though at the moment I seem to only be able…wait…I remember lying in bed when I woke up the first time and I was aware that I was dreaming and that I could open my eyes, but I didn’t want to because my dream was a much more pleasant place to be. I remember I opened my eyes, checked the time, and promptly closed my eyes again. As soon as they were closed I was back asleep.

I dreamt that Liesl called me up, crying. I was in my new room in my new apartment, and she told me that her life was ruined. She said that after we broke up, she just had to go and fall in love with someone and that he swore he was clean, but now she’s discovered she has the haaaaarpies. Otherwise known as herpes simplex 1. Or was it 2? Someone help me out here. Once you get the harpies, you can never get rid of them. Now, this wasn’t Hayes, her current b/f, but someone before him and after me, which is clearly dream logic, since there simply wasn’t enough time between our break and the beginning of their relationship for her to have even tried to fall for someone else. Well, then again I don’t know shit really and anything’s possible. I got a lot done in that time, so, who’s to say she didn’t.

Anyway, she was crushed, and for some reason decided to call me about it. I was kinda confused cause I figured after what I said to her the other day she’d have little interest in speaking to me, and well, why not talk to Hayes about it? Well, this must have been around 9:30am in reality cause shortly after my dream was corrupted by the surge of testosterone that corresponds with that part of the day.

Today I will get together with Bryan for brews and jams. Werd. By the way, sorry for such long entries, but, well, this is my journal and it’s as much for me to remember and vent all the random crap in my head as it is for you to know about my experiences here in Japan.

01-25 - 11:00am

01-25 - 11:00am

Well, woke up at 10 today, or at least that’s when I thought I had slept way too long and checked my phone to see what time it was. Then I dozed off again until just about right now. So having said that, I don’t think I’m gonna set my alarm except on weekends, and Friday, since I have FU Training 2 that day.
It’s FUT2 actually, but I prefer to call it FU training #2. They just do like to FU in this job. They wanna make sure you’re well F’dU. I heard Allen got FU’d three times. Damn, so many puns there. It’s great.

My weird dream theme that I haven’t mentioned in a while continues. I fell asleep last night thinking about how you could possibly visually express a dream to someone else, like in movie form. How would you emulate the point of view, and the endless lack of certain perspective, and odd feats of that reality?
Last night I dreamt that I had done what I keep thinking about in the waking world; going home and surprising my friends by not telling them I’m coming back for a visit. Except that in my dream I had apparently been back to visit recently, and it had only been a matter of weeks since I left for the first time.
So here I am surprising my friends, and they’re just like, oh hey what’s up. And I’m so confused why they’re not freaking out, and Brian Hickey is like “Dude weren’t you here like two weeks ago? Don’t you have like a job or something out there?” And I’m all crushed emotionally cause I really wanted to surprise my friends and have a good time, and they kinda didn’t care.

I know though that for some people no matter how long I’m gone it’ll be that way. Hickey, for one. Nathan, probably. Definitely Josh. But thankfully there are those people who would do a little freak out happy dance.

10:34pm

Well, today was fun. I had a good time today. My mission to feel rested was successful. Today at work I felt generally better than any day I can remember in the last two months or so. I turned up the energy in my kids lessons, and my ability to cope with, well, less than fluent students, was markedly greater than in the preceding weeks.

I have tomorrow off, Vinny is working my shift since I covered his Tuesday last week, thusly leading to my mission. I will get together with Bryan tomorrow and do some drinking and guitar playing, and that’s good cause I’ve written another song. I think I’m going to end up with an album entitled For The Women of My Life. Right now I have songs started/written for Liesl, Jordan, and now Amanda. Well, Greg too, but, we’ll work him in there somewhere.

Saturday, Greg has invited me to join rather than babysit him and Bryan for our little shindig, free of charge. Greg continues to amaze me with his generosity. Except Sunday is going to be hell at work, and I am going to have to bring my work clothes with me and leave from his place. I’m also kinda worried because Bryan is going to want to jam on his guitar, and I don’t know really how I feel about that. Actually, I don’t know if Bryan has any idea what he’s in for, seeing as I don’t know if he’s ever rolled how we do. Oh well, good enough time to find out, yea?

美しい着物について語りましょう。
ちきゅふ長のあなたのすぐ近くのおもむきのある物について。
胸の弧度を高める物のように気となりかがいとおかしい。

01-24 – 10:45am

01-24 – 10:45am

Both today and yesterday I woke up at 10:41am. Apparently that’s when I’m done sleeping. I wonder if I can trust that enough on the days I work not to set an alarm. There are only two days out of the week I have to be up earlier than that, so hmm…I wonder if I could get better sleep by not setting it.
You know how that goes, right? That you always sleep better when you don’t have to be up at a certain time? I don’t think your body ever really relaxes because somewhere in your subconscious is the knowledge that you have to be up and the consequent internal countdown. Every time I have to be up at a given time I wake up within 5 minutes of it, not to mention every hour or so up until then just to make sure, if it’s important enough. And that just sucks.
So I’ll test it out I guess. If I wake up at the same time tomorrow, I’ll trust it for Thursday too.

So. What shall I do today? Laundry? Internet? Neither? Only time will tell. More later.

10:03pm

Mwahaha. Well. Did very little today, as anticipated. I’m gonna go do that internet thing I was thinking about tomorrow before I go to work. That way I don’t have to make a special trip just for that.

Just got done doing my pushups. Werd to that. I’m also very, very full. Ugh. I need to stop making so much rice. Just cause 1 cup or uncooked rice makes for easy measurement doesn’t mean I should necessarily make that much.

Bryan asked me today if I had heard from Naomi. I said no, and that it’s not a big deal. Actually, come to think of it, none of the three people I’ve had occasion to give my number to have called. And in no case does it bother me really. I just hope it’s not cause I did anything offensive. But people don’t seem to realize how I work anymore. I just don’t care, really. I mean, it’d be nice and all, but, I really don’t care.

But having said that, Single Awareness Day (VD) is quickly approaching, and I’m preparing for the onslaught of inevitable annoying questions I’m going to be asked about my relationship status. Except in Japan VD is celebrated through the giving of chocolates by girls to all the significant men in their lives. Which is fantastic. White Day, which follows in March is the guy’s version except they only have to give chocolate to their sweethearts. Lol. Gotta love this country.

Alright, time to watch more TV and then go to bed as part of my ongoing attempt to feel rested ever.

01-23

01-23 11:00am

Have I mentioned I’m excited about getting a new room?
It’s very windy today, I woke up this morning to what I thought must have been an earthquake. The sheet intensity of the wind made it feel in my waking sleep like the room was shaking. It doesn’t help that someone put an umbrella on the grating outside my window, and it’s just bouncing up and down making noise right next to my head.
I’ve also started to reinstate my pushup regimen, on account of my metabolism starting to slow down again after getting used to my diet here. I really could have powered into it by doing them from the start, but, alas I was lazy, am lazy, but I’m working to change that. In all honesty, I don’t know how I started doing them last time I was here, but every day for two months I did. And man it made me so happy, because after a few weeks the results were really tangible. But it took a few weeks, and that’s what gets me.
I’m not one of the kids that took the one marshmallow over two delayed, but two weeks is a lot different than ten minutes, especially when there’s daily physical exertion involved.
Actually, what I really liked about it best was that I proved to myself that I could force myself to do something and stick with it. Being able to ignore the presence of choice to do or not to do something is difficult for one who prides his self on constant situational awareness.
So today I will lounge around and be under budget. I’m gonna listen to music, and play video games, and think about stuff and blah blah blah, that sorta thing. Why? Because it’s free. Free has a certain appeal to me right now. My budget is the other thing I have little choice about sticking to. So I figure, every night when I enter my financial information in the log, I will do my pushups directly after. That way I’ll have a little routine, and they’ll re-enforce one another. And I set a recurring alarm.

11:59pm

Well, today was spent entirely as I had expected. Lounged around, played video games, watched TV, that sort of thing. And, much to my satisfaction, spent no money, logged my non-expense, and promptly did my daily pushups. Tomorrow I think I will have to venture out and check my account status online. I am cutting it close this month at best, and I think I should ask my parents to drop $50 in my account just to make sure I don’t accidentally overdraft. Thankfully in a month or so I will be in a position to deliberately send more than necessary home. I think once I get things all settled after moving I am going to send home whatever excess I have come payday back along with my monthly expenses. That way I will have money I can’t touch out here. Forced savings. Additionally, I am going to start sending checks instead of wire transfers to save some yen here and there. Blah blah blah, bedtime. Sorry I don’t have anything more exciting to report.

01-22

01-22 – 9:05pm

I took more pictures today of what’s left of the snow. The sun was out, it was a really nice morning actually, despite being up so early. I’ve finally come to accept how tired I’ve been lately, and how much I need a good night’s sleep, and a few days of rest. You never really know for sure how taxing your life is until you give up a day of rest and realize just how much your body and mind need that time off.
Work today was just fine. I taught some lower levels, and some higher levels, and so on. My kids class had one person show up, and unexpected man to mans are at best awkward for lack of things to do. I wrote up a little sheet to keep track of my expenses from now until payday. I am going to jot down all my expenditures and file my receipts so I have to look at my successes and failures each day. Yesterday’s excursion to the bars was an exercise in what I shouldn’t and can’t afford to be doing, especially as a repeat of an earlier transgression that puts me further in need of such action. But, I managed to avoid going over budget today by taking the free shuttle that runs from Mallage to Kashiwa after work. Now if I can just keep spending on my days off to, say, nothing, I’ll be alright. I have to stay under budget enough to be able to afford train fare once I move.
Speaking of which, only two more weeks until I move. Awws yea. Only two more weeks of not having a desk or chair in my room. Only two more weeks of having no room in my room for, I dunno, anything. In two weeks I will have a closet that can actually hold my clothes. I might even have, gasp, coathangers. Wouldn’t that just be a thrill?
It’s going to be weird moving in with these guys. I mean, I know them but I don’t really know them that well. I have no doubt we’ll all get along just fine, but, one always worries. Eh, if nothing else I can just sit around and play with the cat. Cats make everything better.
A Japanese version of Cats is coming to Tokyo, and I was talking about it with Ash on the train on the way to work today. With the exception of cats, cause they’re all in makeup, Japanese stage shows are kind of, well, homogenous, because of a general lack of ethnic bases. It’s kind of hard to do a performance of, say, West Side story, without people of different ethnicities. Or, at least, without that kind of diversity, the message kinda gets blurred. But Cats is ok. Partly cause of the makeup, and mostly cause I’ll never see it to care. But real life cats are still cool.

01-21

01-21 – 8:51am

I remembered what I dreamt about last night, in between waking up a million times like normal. I’m thinking it was in Oregon City for some reason, but anyway, we’re walkin around, and we’re walking on this bridge with people I know, but I don’t actually know. This bridge has no rails, and it’s quite a ways down, falling off would mean certain death. So I’m walkin next to this kinda drunky guy, and he’s not so sure of his footing, and once or twice he teeters on the edge and I hold his arm and pull him away from falling. Well, at one point I’ve been pulled to the edge and have fallen, and am hanging on my the edge of my foot somehow. I am holding on to drunky guy with one hand, and looking up and calling for help. When I look up, I see the girl I’d been walking with near my feet and my dad looking down from a ledge a little further away. I call for help, look to my dad, and then look to the girl closest to me, and tell her to grab my foot and pull, then swing my arm up and pull myself back onto the ledge. With drunky guy of course. But at this point I’m not thinking about him, I’m thinking about my father, who I promptly walk to, point at, and with rage announce that he is no longer my father, and vowed never to speak to him ever again after leaving me for dead on that ledge. He tried to explain that he was going to help, and that he was trying to think of what to do, but I would hear none of it.

“sup dude. Sure yea, but, could you keep it down out there? I’m trying to sleep, I gotta work.”

01-20

01-20 – 2:00pm

Attempting to steal internet at work again is proving to be fruitless. I am having a minimal amount of success, I can access google from the room that I am in, but the page doesn’t load entirely, and I can’t get to the one page I need to, my account page for my SST credit card, which I was for some reason unable to access from the internet café yesterday. This is getting frustrating, because I’m definitely starting to think this month’s payment is going to be late, which will have a negative effect on all the credit rebuilding I’ve been trying to do. Oh well, such is life, at least until I can start doing something more reliable.

Even Starbucks here doesn’t have wi-fi access. This is some bullcrap malarkey right here. You would think that a trendy coffee shop would be able to help me out, but apparently not. Yeesh. What is this world coming to? Oh well.

The auto grammar check on Word keeps yelling at me because I keep putting periods at the end of rhetorical questions. What’s with that.

It’s Cole’s birthday today, except that it’s not his birthday in America yet. That’s kinda weird, I want to call him but it would be early. I have an alarm set to ring tomorrow morning to remind me to call him. Now, about that internet….

Ha! Success! Mwhahaha. I rock.

9:00pm

So, today sucked. I had all lower level students and kids. Both of my kids classes sucked. My kids were all over the place, didn’t give a shit, and had no interest in whatever I was saying. No one cried, so that was good, but good shit that was a pain. I felt bad cause I was just in the worst mood today. I ended on a good note, Keiko was fun, so I was happy about that, but then I think the real reason for my bad mood surfaced itself after I started to make my way home. I had one hell of a duke brewing.

It was the duke that had been waiting for several days to finally come about. The sum total of all the absurdly spicy food I’ve been eating lately. I barely made it up the stairs at the station when I got home. I was forced once again to use the Japanese style toilets, which are just basically squat holes. I have these nightmares of dropping a rocket propelled shit in there, only to have the sheer force of it spray it all over my slacks. I’m sure you want to know all of this. Anyway, after two or three rounds of that one, I made my way home with a loosened belt, and once home had rounds four and five. I’m pretty sure I have another couple coming, but I don’t really mind cause I’ll have lost like 5 pounds in the process.
Additionally, I’m in a much better mood now. I think that’s what was causing all my discomfort all day, really. Funny how biofeedback works. I knew something was up, so I was drinking water all day and trying to listen to my body. But the duke, that was definitely it. Now I am going to enjoy a fantastically hot bath and try to relax.

Ahh…that was nice. It always feels nice to shill and relax after a bath like that. I just got done watching the news; they’re calling for snow tomorrow. They say it will snow starting maybe in the afternoon and continue into the evening, and that it should stick; somewhere between 3 and 5 centimeters. I.e. between 1 and 2 inches. Woot woot. Go snow. It’s gonna be colder than a mother bitch outside but, oh well. Snow’s snow. Too bad I have to get up so ass early tomorrow. And teach 5 kids lessons.

01-19

01-19 – 11:59pm

All food in this country is delicious beyond compare. Just thought I would throw that out there. I went to a Korean restaurant with Emi and Yuriko and Masayuki (pink tie guy) and chi-chai san after work, and everything that crossed my lips was amazing. I guess that comes from having thousands of years to perfect the foods you eat, but, oh man. It like they could do no wrong ordering. You could throw darts at the menu and whatever you got would be the best thing you had ever eaten, guaranteed. It’s out of control.

It is weird, however, being the one American among 4 other Japanese people at a restaurant. I mean, they all speak English to varying degrees, but it leaves you with that odd feeling that you’re just not getting the point of the conversation.

Emi told me on the bus today on the way to work that Kerry said Allen and I are a good combination for our branch. Apparently, Allen is really good for serious lessons, with business men and the like, and that I have appeal to younger students i.e. children, younger and middle aged women, because of my strong energy and humor. The two of us have a 100% sign record for demo lessons. As in, every demo lesson we’ve done, they've signed up afterwards. Admittedly, I’ve done most of the demos, but, yea. That’s freakin awesome. There’s a dangerously high chance of me being an MVP for December or January. Good cop Bad cop baby. Works every time.

On a side note, I need a massage. My back is all knots. Someone come over here and rub my back. Ready…go.

I have a sore throat, three more days of work and a rough month ahead. I wanna go to sleep and wake up in the clear. I’m so close to the potential for financial security. But then again I’ve said that before. The question I guess is if it will be any different this time around.

01-18

01-18 – 11:04pm

Sent money home today. Yet another adventure in highly sensitive information being mangled by language deficiencies. I now have absolutely no idea whether the 4000yen service fee charged by SMBC is added to the amount sent or subtracted from it at the time of transmission, and the additional fee that was mentioned thusly reducing my total amount sent is I think the receiving bank’s fee, which I was already aware of, but, neither is clear. So, I could either end up sending ~$150 after fees to the US which would be ideal, or $125 which would be less than ideal. Actually, ideally I would be sending $400 home like I really need to, but it appears as if this month that’s not possibly.

The bureaucracy in this country is at best suffocating. I go to the bank and stand in line only to have my number called, another number issued, and wait again. When I get up the second time, I get to announce the purpose of my stay, have the teller call over someone who speaks broken English, plod my way through some paperwork, make a typo, start the whole damned thing over again, and then wait for another little while as they look over the document, check it with their peers, then superiors, consult a dictionary for how to explain the next step, take a Nova lesson to get some extra practice, take a vote on who will speak to me, rock paper scissors to decide the tie, then tell me that there are some fees I should be aware of, point out some numbers, explain the numbers to me in no particularly useful way (starting to understand my point yet?), remind me that any inaccuracies, which are clearly not the fault of a failure to check information in my presence due to the potentially offensive nature of such an action, will incur additional fees which will be deducted from somewhere, depending on the day, year of the Chinese zodiac, planetary alignment, and the availability of necessary documents which much be completed in triplicate.

Bryan’s Welsh roommate Rob as it turns out will be the next addition to the Mallage staff. This is good. He’ll be working Friday-Tuesday, werd. That’ll mean that for a while, at least until he’s kids trained, that I will be taking on days full of kids while he teaches the lessons. He covers both Allen and my days off, that way they don’t have to keep bringing in help work.

01-17

01-17 - 4:00pm

Just woke up. Ugh. Have I mentioned before that Roppongi is not where I want to spend my quality time and money? Well anyway, yesterday I worked in Matsudo, and that was fucking tiring, and then when I got off work I came home and got ready to go out to Roppongi with Bryan and Ash and a bunch of buddies from Bryan’s orientation. We went to the Lexington Queen, which at least had nomihoudai going for it. Other than that, it was any other crappy dance club. But it least it wasn’t a Turk bar. I was very, very quiet for about the next 3 or 4 hours. It was funny just to watch people as they got more and more drunk. One really drunk guy starts bein reallllly friendly with me, comes into the bathroom and I’m standing there holding my dick and this guy insists on shaking my hand. Well, I’m sitting back at the table, and he’s been sitting near me, and the girl who was sitting with/taking care of him finally starts to talk to me when he makes his way out on the dance floor to fall down on some new people. I had noticed her earlier, and her cute-ish blonde friend, so I was glad she started talking to me. Well, turns out she is as well a Nova teacher. What are the odds? Anyway, she lives in Nishi-Funabashi, which just so happens to be where Hallie works. So, I say, hey wait, does that mean you work with Hallie? And she goes, no way, yea I do! So then I tell her that I’m her boyfriend’s (Greg’s) best friend, and she flips. She grabs her friend, whose name I still can’t remember, I think Shelly? I feel terrible about that, but anyway she grabs her and is like, hey Shelly this guy is Greg’s best friend! She looks at me in total shock, and I tell her my name is David. She says, “Wait, you’re David? Holy crap, yea she’s talked about you. So you’re the David she’s talking about?” Lol. So yea, instant friends there. That works.
Bryan Ash and I left after a while and decided to go to Freshness Burger to get something to eat before catching last train at about 5 this morning. Ash and Bryan went back for second burgers, which was beyond me, but on the way back to the station we run into those two girls again. Well, I figure opportunities don’t present themselves twice that often so I decided to stay with them, take what comes and go home even later.
Bad idea. No offense ladies, you’re a little bit out of your minds. Not you, Blondie, you’re ok in my book, but Ms. Brunette, we need to get you a muzzle or something. Damn, this girl was loud. And damn, was this girl all over me. And man was there no way that was gonna happen. I finally told them I’m gonna have to go home after they went to Freshness burger and got seconds too, what the heck, and made our way to the trains. They got off at Ueno. I got home near 8:45.
Now it’s time for ramen, video games, ibuprofen and cigarettes. Then tomorrow evening it’s back to work. I’m glad I don’t have to work till 5.

01-18 Supplemental

Well once again I`ve been paid but I`m broke. This month will be the hardest for me, I have to pay double rent plus move in fees, so I am going to be on here infrequently at best until I have moved in on or around the 5th of Feb.

This entry is to let you all know that I will update my journal as soon as I can, which is looking to be at least another week or so at best. Not that anyone checks this or anything, but, all the same. Just so you know. Whoever you are.

Other than that I`m alive and well things are fine, life is good, it`s a little warmer lately than it has been for which I am thankful, and I`m praying it`s the beginning of a trend, though February always has that special something in store. It always gets nice to start, then drops winter`s worst on you when you least expect it.

Ok, off to the bank to remit my life away.

01-16

01-16 – 11:45am

Yay! I made it to payday! I’m now 128,000yen richer. I stayed the night at Bryan’s last night; we got together after work for some station beers and a nice chat about what’s been going on in our lives. He’s had some girl trouble recently, and I was his solid ground for not doing anything silly like letting her dictate his emotions or decide when they work things out. I reminded him over and over that if she walked out on him it’s not up to her when and how they talk anymore. She gave up that right, and that he needs to re-evaluate what he thinks of their relationship prior to working towards getting it back. And so on and so forth, this isn’t my life.
My life, on the other hand, remains calm since the last violent upheaval. Which is nice. I literally felt ill waiting to get to the internet café today, but was relieved to find nothing waited for me but a couple of picture comments and a note from my buddy David B. from high school. I re-read what I wrote to Liesl the other day to see if it was still what I thought, and was pleased to find that outside the heat of the moment, what I said still makes sense, and is neither softer nor harsher than I intended to be. Yay for that. With that out of the way, and finances remaining the one and only thing I need to worry about in life, my mood has improved significantly.
Actually, even though I work today when I would normally have the day off, this has the potential to be a pretty good day. Bryan’s new roommates are sweet, one’s from Seattle, and the other from Wales (mom you’ll like that), and they’re both hilarious. We spent all last night sitting around playing guitar and reworking the words to one of my songs to make a slightly angrier, emotionally expressive version. I.e. lots of cursing and references to VD’s we hope they contract. It was something of a group vent session about the women in our lives. It was fantastic.

Yea, you know I’m going to renege on my previous mood and go for chipper instead.
Only 20 days until I move!!!! Woot. Only 20 days until internet!!!! WOOOT!

01-14

01-14 – 9:00pm

So yea, it rained today. It rained something awful. I was walking home, and by the time I got back from the station the entirety of the front side of my pants was soaked. I had to iron them to get the water out, which brought the soaked in stench of Japan back to life from within the fibers. That was pleasant.
I did kids lessons all day. I had 5 of them, all in all. I started the day with two Chibiko lessons, had two kinders after that, and a man to man returnee kid after that. That’s quite a workout in case you were wondering. Returnees are kids who have lived in a native English speaking country for some period of time. Their parents usually want them to retain their knowledge of the language, rather than have it like so many people I know who grew up in a multilingual house and barely know how to speak now since forgetting what they learned as a child.
So aside from being dead tired and soaked, today wasn’t so bad. I worked with this guy named Darcy, who was just the epitome of grown up dork, who turned out to be a teacher I know’s husband. He’s totally Bion just in his late 30’s. I guess only Cole will get that one.
Only one more day till payday. That will be nice. I’ll immediately go back to being broke, but, I mean, it will be nice to get all of that out of the way. It will be nice to know I’m one step closer to unimaginable riches. 20 more days or so in this apartment, then it’s on to bigger and better things.

During my returnee lesson today we had a journal writing section and the question I posed was “what’s the best gift anyone could ever give you?” Kastuhito said something super expensive, like a car, namely a Ferrari or a Jaguar or a BMW, which I can relate to. I said the greatest gift I could ever receive would be a family of my own. And really, when I thought about it, that’s 100% true. I can’t wait to be a dad. I love the little rugrats I have running around all day here, even when they are a pain in the ass. I can’t wait to have my own hoard of kids running around I can play with all the time. I need to be financially stable when I get back so I can start looking for a wife. That way I can knock her the hell up. Lol. That just sounds wrong. Except those are probably the exact words I’m going to say. “Sweetheart, I Love you and all, but I am going to knock you the hell up now.”

Zahorcak out.

01-13

01-13 – 11:27am

Yesterday was kinda fun. Work was alright, we just chilled out and had our day. Emi, the other new J-Staff had this astrology/horoscope type book thing, and so she asked me about my birthday, and oddly enough the reading was exactly right. It said that I am brave, have an addictive personality, get into trouble easily, don’t like to stand out in crowds, but like to be in the spotlight among close friends. Additionally, the primary underlying feature of my birthday is that I am a Keeper of Secrets.

I called Kerry yesterday to request some overtime, which I was granted. I also asked her is she happened to know if I am still on probation, since Dara never got back to me. She said, “Oh, well, uh, you’re not. So, congratulations.” I did a little dance and squeaked a bit. Very unlike me. Actually, not really so unlike me at all. That’s some extra yen in my pocket right there, 15,000 actually. Sweet tits. The Feb. 15th paycheck will reflect my new status, and will also be the last of my salary advance payments. Which means that my March 15th paycheck will be just disgusting. Between no salary advance, a raise, and a decrease in my rent thanks to moving…ah man. April’s gonna be even better. Mwahaha. Mwhahahahaha.
I’ll even have enough money to come visit you all if I want sometime. Hahahahahah YEA RIGHT. You’re never gonna see me again. I’m not kidding.

Barbara and I talked about that among other things on our little dinner date thing last night. You know when you’re aware of the fact someone likes you, and you have to choose between trying to talk it down or go along with it? Well, I just kinda went with it last night, I’m not gonna see her for three weeks since she’s going back to Oz (Australia) for a little bit starting today. We just had some beers and had a three hour conversation about pretty ridiculous things, like my paralyzing, gut wrenching fear of Orcas, and hers of having her eyes poked out. I said mine was better cause it’s fatal to have my fears realized. She said she wins cause hers is more likely. I still think I win because I can live with my fear on an everyday basis, and it would be so much more hardcore to be eaten by an Orca than have an eye poked out by a rogue unguided chopstick missle, which I started flicking around after she mentioned it.


10:03pm

I’d just like to take a moment to say that my life is entertaining, and often hilarious, and I think each and every one of you should continue to read my journal on an ongoing basis. Each and every one of you, each and every entry. Ready…go. Alright. Good. Glad we had that little talk.

So, today. Today I had two kids classes, both of which were at capacity at 8 little rugrats each. My junior class halfway through the day has not gotten any better since the break. Yousuke cried, and so did Tomoki, after Yuri hit him on the head with the corner of her book cause he was misbehaving. Are kids supposed to cry still at like 8 and 9? I felt bad, it’s really decimating to see someone who you saw as so strong willed as utterly broken as they are when they weep. It’s like no matter how much of a pain in the ass those kids can be, seeing tears in their eyes, their utter vulnerability, just destroys me. I hate seeing children cry. I want to rain fire and brimstone down on whoever made them feel that way. The only thing that stops me is knowing that another child did it.

On a side note, I got tickled by one of my girls today. And then the rest of them teamed up to try to tackle me. And then they clung to my legs and I had to walk around with 8 year old girls dragging behind me. Something similar happened in my kinder class too. What the heck? My boys do similar things, just in their own approval seeking way. Half of my high fives turn into frazzling their hair cause they just put their heads against my hand when I hold it up. To be honest, I love every second of it. Not because I’m looking for attention from 8 year olds, but because they trust me, they’ve accepted me. I’m not a stranger to them anymore. I’m not only not a stranger, but someone whose warmth is desired, and that makes me so happy inside. I really, really like working with children.

01-11

01-11 – 11:59pm

I'm really frustrated with doing laundry in this country. I think the washers here are designed to do tiny loads about once every three hours, rather than a single load even once a week. Every time I do laundry, I wind up with clothes that have little chunks of detergent stuck to them, and I have to rewash them to get rid of them. I’ve even started diluting the detergent in a bottle of water and adding it to the washer while it fills the tank, to no avail. I think from here on in I am going to start doing much smaller loads, and using less soap to see if that helps. Japan is clearly not built for American college student style laundry. I do laundry like I’m paying per load.

I forgot to fax in the termination of lease form I was supposed to today. I’m pissed at myself for that, because every day I don’t send it in I’m paying handsomely. I wrote myself a to-do note about it, so I’d better not forget tomorrow.

I stopped by the grocery store today and picked up some foodstuffs. I bought some shabu-shabu style chicken, which I attempted to cook ala this TV show I watched once, involving plastic wrap and a microwave. Needless to say the chicken and the wrap became one, and I scrapped that idea quickly in favor of tinfoil and the broiler. A much higher degree of success and deliciousness there.

I had an interesting debate at work today with Allen during which I realized I have no idea if I’m still on probation or not. Might wanna find that out, but oh well.

I have a ‘date’ with Barbara tomorrow to get drunk. I can see through to the intent, and I’m trying to figure out if I want to let it happen anyway. I’ve had this neurotic standard thing going on for, well, a long time now. I dunno, maybe I’m ready to let something happen. Or not, who am I kidding? Ugh.

Additionally, starting in March, the ‘swimming in cash’ begins, as far as I can see. More as the story progresses.

Dear Liesl

I`m moving. Sweet action. This new apartment is going to kick ass, I`ll be living with some sweet guys and have internet and all this crazy shit.

Liesl told me today she wishes sometimes I weren`t a part of her life. Apparently she `found out some new things about me`. Fanfuckingtastic. I like that no matter how much I learn or grow or change, there`s always gonna be someone out there who holds me to who I used to be.

For Christ`s sake I went through Hell because of what I did, and didn`t do but people assumed I did, but never thought to ask me about because they ASSUME I`m a liar. Fuck you. Not to sound cliche, but you don`t know me. You have no idea who I am.

You know what I love about my life in the last two years? I have real friends. I have people who give a shit about me. Who know I made bad decisions but let it go, who forgave me and that was the end of it. You know Shane was there for every day of everything that went on in that house, saw everything I did when Liesl wasn`t around. He was there when I left, and you know what? He`s still around now. Shane knew I did some stupid things, but he also knows people make mistakes, and let it go. Because when Shane did stupid shit, I never batted an eye, because I knew it`s part of growing up and finding out who he is to become.

Greg is the same way, and I love him with all my heart. Cole is the same way, and I love him with all my heart. All my friends are that way, and I love them all to the ends of the Earth and there`s nothing I wouldn`t do for them, and they know it.

I MADE HUGE FUCKING MISTAKES! I`m aware of that, thank you. Get the fuck over it, we all do.
What I respect in people is when they take others on a day to day basis. Liesl every time I`ve talked to you in the last year I`ve been respectful, kind, helpful, etc. I`ve been a good person to you. When you called me lost as hell and I stayed on the phone with you for over half an hour just to make sure you got to wherever the hell you were going safely, did it occur to you that maybe that`s the kind of person I am? I didn`t have to do that, I wasn`t too stoked to spend that much time talking to you, honestly, but when someone needs my help I lend them a hand, no questions asked. I loaned you my car to go see your family, at a time in my life when I couldn`t bear to even think of you because of the shame I felt over what I had done in the past.

Why can`t you understand that? Why can`t you take a moment and try to understand where I`m coming from? I refuse to live another day of my life in shame for what I`ve done. I will not let you change me from looking forward to the future to looking back again on my past.

I pulled myself out of a hole which had no end, stood on the brink of Hell or suicide or God knows what and made myself into something I am proud of. I don`t care anymore if you can`t see that. It`s your worry, not mine. After this, I will never explain myself to you, or anyone else, ever again. The past is dead, and I intend for it to stay that way.

I am a good person. Now. And I`m proud of that. I wish you would let me show you that because you were such a huge part of my life. I hate pushing you out of my head, it`s not right.

Please, can we let our pasts be the past? I don`t want to be your ex anymore, I want to be who I am.

01-08

01-08 – 11:08pm

I drew a self-portrait tonight. I know, perfect for someone as narcissistic as myself. I decided I was going to let my music play on random tonight, and I kinda felt like drawing because of the mood the music put me in. I starting drawing something or other, and I kinda started sketching out the side of my face. I flipped the page when it didn’t turn out how I thought, and started looking at a picture of myself to have a rough start.
It’s weird to see a picture of yourself that you drew. It’s weird to watch it take shape, and start to be able to recognize yourself in the ink. I remember when Cole was taking art classes, and had to do self portraits, looking at the pictures himself he had drawn, and thinking what an interesting reflection it was of how he must have seen himself, in combination with his ability to put it down on paper. I can’t tell if the person you draw is idealized or if it’s a reflection of self worth. But people draw themselves, well, as they see themselves, ya know? The image they see isn’t exactly what they draw, it’s subtly altered by their interpretation of themselves too, I think. Actually, looking at the drawing it was weird because I recognized the features I had drawn, and they weren’t mine, they were my father’s. There are aspects of it that remind me a lot of a black and white picture my father has on his dresser in his room from when he was younger. But as I continued to draw, the picture became more distinctly my own, until, as a finished product, I see a blend I think only those who know me and my father well could see.

11:30pm
Tomorrow I go to check out Ty and Dave’s apartment near 新松戸 Shin Matsudo and will make a decision as to whether or not I move, which is about 99% sure, just as long as it’s not a pain in the ass to get home from somewhere. Basically, if it’s a walk I can do drunk in the dead of winter, it’ll be fine. It’s off the Nagareyama line, which means that I’m adding another local train ride to my already pain in the butt local train line switch coming home from places in central Tokyo. It also means that I’d pretty much have to leave at 9am for my 10:50 start days. Well, maybe, who knows. I’ll have to time it when I come back to my place tomorrow after checking it out.

Additionally, Liesl removed the info she had previously approved saying we had dated from 1999-2002 and that it had gotten a little serious. I refuse to read into the meaning behind that, but, um. Even if I had a new girlfriend now, one I was in Love with; I wouldn’t be concerned letting people know whom I dated. Unless there’s, ugh, no. I will not speculate. It’s not my place to question her motives. As much as my blood boils sometimes, I have no choice but to respect her wishes. She can remember me however she likes. Part of swearing I would never stand in the way of her happiness is letting go of my selfish desire to have my version of things be the explanation. I’m the only person with whom I ever need to reconcile those memories.

I`m alive

but living poorly and without internet. I will be writing more, and updating the rest of this journal with the many entries I have missed soon. As soon as I can remember to bring my flash drive out here, and I will have new pics and all that jazz.

I will probably be moving by the end of the month, so I will privide you all with my new address as well.

Life`s life. This job is still cake.

01-06

01-06 – 1:00pm

I fell asleep last night listening to Ferry Corsten, and I realized that I pretty much have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to composing, which I have been attempting since being here. I simply don’t have the tools or know how to accomplish what I’ve set out to do. That’s not to say I’m going to give up, it's just that with the equipment I have right now, i.e. my laptop and willpower, I just don’t think I can really compose something which is in any way comparable to the works of professional artists. It would require a significant investment on my part, something which is still impossible, and a lot lot lot of time learning and getting accustomed to the way things work.
But, on the other hand, I am going to sit down and really have a close listen to the songs I like and pick apart what aspects of them make them so significant to me. Hopefully then I can start to work off those ideas. Layers. Greg keeps mentioning layers, and boy do I know it’s the truth. I need more layers, and motion within them. Damnit I’m gonna write some good music. I’m listening to the stuff I’ve written already and I can already pick apart just from last night’s listening where I can improve and add movement. It’s weird to be so inspired and equally frustrated at the same time.

10:06pm

Worked in Matsudo today. Had a good time, honestly. There were no Titled Instructors there today, so it was all fun and games. It’s weird the way people do what they’re supposed to even when there’s no one there to make sure it’s done properly. Anyway, Natasha did a very sweet thing for me today. She asked if I needed anything from the convenience store, and when I told her I couldn’t afford it, she asked again anyway, and bought me a sandwich. It was really nice of her, and it was something of an interesting contrast to her generally catty attitude, which Bryan seems to clash with a bit. He doesn’t seem to be the biggest fan of her, but, I like bitchy girls. I like them a lot honestly. And it’s not that she’s bitchy, she’s just not coy. He claims she’s something of a high horse Christian type, which I have yet to see, but it was certainly nice of her to buy me a sandwich and I mean to return the favor.
Classes today were fun, I taught a class on music preferences and my students had a blast, I got to make sound effects the whole time and they just sat around and talked. I actually kinda forgot to follow the LMP for most of the lesson, I just kinda had to arbitrarily decide that we were at a point to move on, and I think I would have just said screw it entirely to the LMP but I figured I at least out to try to hold to some semblance of a normal lesson. Its was really nice to have such a musically eclectic group too. Voice was fun, etc etc etc.
Worked with Barbara today, and that was fun. She’s entertaining in her own way. I think it’s just that she tries to be intriguing and I kinda trump her. She talks to me the way someone does when they want to seem…interested, in a disinterested kinda, picking on you way. It’s cute how much I see through it. But all in all she’s a really sweet girl. I have to agree with Bryan though, “The Tooth” is something of a distraction. One of her incisors is dead, and so it’s discolored. And it’s been whitened, except that dead teeth are more porous so it’s whiter than the rest of her teeth now. *twitch* neurotic standards clicking on. It’s safe here in my little world, leave me alone.

01-05

01-05 – 4:30pm

(From Journal)
First day back at Mallage. Found out we have new J-Staff. I guess I didn’t realize they circulated. Yuriko is the new girl, I haven’t met the other yet. I suppose this is something I will have to get used to. I wonder why they do that? Eh, not that it’s an entirely large leap of logic since they move us around so whimsically. But at least they don’t change our home branches.
I’ll be teaching 10 kids’ lessons a week here now this month. Just under 1/3rd of my total lessons. Yuriko asked me if I was the Kids’ Coordinator here, because the manage called and told her to have the KC change out the teaching materials for this month, which I had already done back on the 24th, and I explained that they have not yet ordained me with that title, so right now we have none. Dumbasses need to get their shit together and make that happen. Either that or they realize much like I do all the same things will get done even if they don’t so there’s really no rush. It’s not like you get paid more for being KC.
In the meantime, I’m stupid broke and there’s no getting around it at this point. I have to make it 11 more days before payday. This is going to get interesting. I hope that December was in no way indicative of future months in terms of budgeting. Having said that, it’s chewing gum, しょうゆ soup and long savored cigarettes until things start looking up. Hell of a weight loss program.
I need 3,080円 for bus transport alone. Time to take that free Mallage bus whenever possible. And walk, for that matter.

11:25pm

Well, I got home today to smell a very strong smell in the air as soon as I walked in the building. As I was walking up the stairs, I started picking out scents. Garlic, definitely. Hmm…chilis…yea. Vinegar…tobasco, that’s it. Lime? Butter, oil, ground pepper…interesting.
My mind flashes to my kitchen counter the night before.
……that time I opened Ash’s cabinet by mistake…a bag of garlic cloves….
…that new bottle of chili pepper sauce that appeared…the bottle of Tobasco sauce I bought…the only thing that’s missing is…is…
At this point I open the door to the apartment, and the first thing out of my mouth is, “You know Ash, I could smell you the moment I walked in the building.”
Apparently he’s sick, and is spicing the sick away. Not a bad idea, clear out the sinuses, steam shower and plenty of vit. C.
Ash bequeathed unto me half a roast chicken he decided he didn’t like. I gratefully picked it clean and reflected on how that’s probably the last filling meal I’ll have for a while. I say this because prior to eating it, I dumped out the change bowl and started sorting out the coinage for bus fare. And, by some odd twist of fate, I have exactly enough to last me until payday. That is also to say I will be walking home from work every day until then, but, oh well. I also won’t be eating a lot.
At this point, I just have to laugh. I’m not down about this. It’s nothing new. I spend money like I make it. Always been a problem. Worst part is it really seriously doesn’t bother me being broke. In 2 weeks, I’ll have money again and I’ll do the same thing all over. Just wait and see.

01-04

01-04 – 12:00pm

Today’s my first day back at work after the break. I work at 松戸 Matsudo today, which is the branch I trained at. I always have these odd suspicions about the AT’s wanting to keep an eye on me when they move me around, but I’m sure it’s more just that there are a ton of people who are still on vacation and leave, and they just need me to cover. But why me, from a branch 6 stops and a bus ride away? Oh well. It just makes me nervous to work around both Kerry and Alex. Well, Alex I’m not so worried about, but Kerry, yeesh.
I’m going to keep my normal work attitude though; I think it’s more important to show them that I’m a morale boosting fun having, get shit done kinda guy rather than being intimidated by their presence. Oh, oh, here’s my great line I won’t use when I’m not confronted about my cheerful and jovial attitude: “Why on Earth would I act differently just cause you guys are around? If I were doing my job right, it wouldn’t matter, would it?”
Yeahp. Never gonna come out of my mouth.

“Now, don’t get a nosebleed, don’t get upset, we can’t be naked and famous just yet. There’s a big ol’ dollar sign on the Sunset Strip, and you can send your friend a postcard it, ain’t worth the trip.

Everybody wants to be naked and famous. Everybody wants to be just like me I’m naked… A WOO WOO WOOOOOOO!”

8:30
No Kerry today. Actually, today was pretty chill. Matsudo’s a weird branch because there are a lot of higher level students there, so it was pretty much the complete antithesis of a normal day at Mallage. I taught a bunch of Zone F and G lessons, and had voice. You pretty much couldn’t get further from Mallage, where classes only go as high as Zone E with two exceptions and I never work on the one day there are voice classes.

Oh, and as predicted, I didn’t get to say my super great line.

I am rethinking my opinion on Charlie, who I previously disliked because of his apparent hatred for life in general, but now I’m starting to think it’s just sobriety he hates, which I can relate to on many levels. That, and he’s funny as hell to shoot the shit with while having a smoke, so, he’s ok in my book.

The letters I wrote home should have arrived by now. I wonder what the recipients thought, to get mail from me.

“It’s a lie, a kiss with opened eyes, and she’s not breathing back. Anything but bother me. Nevermind, these are horrid times, wooo…I can’t let it bother me. It takes my pain away.”

01-02

01-02 – 11:59pm

I spent today going through the entirety of my iPhoto pictures and organizing them. I was sitting at Emma’s house after New Year’s and she showed me this little Tourist Picture Album thingie from here hometown in New Zealand, and I realized I had no such pamphlet. Probably because they don’t exist for Tualatin, but, all the same I thought I ought to go through and start labeling photos so I can use my comp as a photo album if necessary.
See, I think my problem is that I chronically don’t give a shit. There are just so many things, like having pictures of home and things like that I just couldn’t care less about. So when people want to see what my life back home was like, I find I generally have terribly little to show them.
I’ve also noticed that I haven’t taken nearly enough pictures of mundane every day life. I blame my camera, and it being less than ideally portable and fast to record. I hate carrying the thing around, and it takes a couple of seconds between photos to record, so I end up just saying screw it. If I had a camera I could take with me just about anywhere, I would snap way more photos. So, I think that will be my priority as soon as I have some money in my pocket. After that I’ll start having to burning photos onto DVD to save hard drive space. Mwahaha. I need photos that capture the quirky moments that make up my life, rather than only being able to look back on the times which were not only something photogenic but that I had a camera available.
Another thing about today which struck me was that I finally just went through and organized everything, pictures of Liesl and my days in the Fraternity included. Those are photos that I archived, but essentially have ignored for the last couple of years, and it was nice to know I could just sort them through and not think much of it.
Greg and I meet new people together all the time, and they always ask how we got to be such good friends, and for how many times we’ve explained the circumstances, I’ve decided to just say we were in a fraternity together and leave it at that. I’ve also decided to stick to my guns talking about Liesl; we were high school sweethearts, I didn’t deserve her and I proved it. I’m just, no offense Leese, tired of talking about both. I’ve been apart from both relationships for longer now than I was in them. The fraternity’s long since graduated anyone who ever knew me, and Leese’s all but married for all I know. I think I have the right at this point to be detached. And I’ve never written the short version of your name either so, sorry if that’s not how you’d spell it.

I go back to work on the 4th. Rawk on. It’s also started raining. Less than rawk.

01-01

1-1-06 – 11:59pm

Happy New Year. Yeesh. What a couple of days.
The 30th Ash and I went out to Mito to join Bryan for his performance at Club Sonic which was a lot of fun, despite being expensive, and way the hell out there. Little did I know before departing, the train ride one way is about 1,600yen. That means there and back is stupid expensive, not to mention the 4,000 cover charge for the 飲み放題 nomihoudai/tabehoudai 食べ放題. But Bryan’s set was amazing, and the other bands were really good as well. We had a good time, and afterwards we went to Chidax, a karaoke bar to pass the time until first train at 4:30. I got to meet Bryan’s buddy from Australia, and we all had a fun time. Ash got his mack on with some Japanese chick and got a little kiss action, which made all of us so very happy for him. We had a bet going they would exchange email addresses by the end of the night, since Ash doesn’t have a phone. We won. It was cute.

Yesterday I woke up at around 1pm after arriving home and wanting nothing more than a sausage McMuffin with egg and being denied by late opening hours due to New Year’s, and went for a walk. I got a text message from Greg saying I should come out with him to the Yebisu Garden Palace for the New Year’s Celebration, and offered to spot me till payday, so I accepted. Greg and Katie and Adam and I made our way to the spot and waited to meet up with Alan and Hallie and Emma. On the train there though, there was a cute Caucasian couple wearing goofy glasses with a cock and boobs on them. It was hilarious watching the reactions from the Japanese.

We all met up and made our way to the Palace, where we were slightly disappointed by the venue and the lack of crazy super party like we had expected. The countdown was great, but other than that, we were kinda disappointed by how lax the party was for how much we paid to get in, and then still had to pay for drinks. At least Yebisu is having a good New Year. We all kinda split off into groups pretty quick like and Adam and Katie decided to head home. Greg and Hallie were having some sort of problems, and were off doing their own thing, so that left Emma and Alan and I sitting on the ground smoking and talking, and passing the time till Greg showed back up and we could leave. We went to Shibuya and grabbed some tasty ramen and then Greg and Hallie decided to go back home. Alan and Emma and I went to the Gaspanic dance club and Emma got groped by older black guys for a while so we decided to take off. We went to an いさかや isakaya afterwards and had a few drinks, and then made our way back to 江田 Eda where Emma and Alan live, which is way, way out on the west side of Tokyo, in either 神奈川 Kanagawa or 川崎 Kawasaki, close to 横浜 Yokohama, quite close to Mukogauka-yuen where I used to live.
After kickin it there for a while Alan took off, and I crashed with Emma, who for the record produces an absurd amount of heat while sleeping. All today we just slept in and then watched Garden State and Amelie. It was just a lot of hungover superchill movie time and talking, which was a lot of fun admittedly. I kinda felt bad just kinda hanging out there and all, but she didn’t seem to mind at all and we had a good time. She got to bitch about hey boyfriend who dumped her on Christmas day for being a lush, and I got to laugh and wish her well on her resolve to stop diving into things and drinking so much. I give it a week.
Anyway, after the two hour train ride home, I watched Proctor with Ash and here I am, tired from two all-nighters in a row, and looking forward to some good rest. Tomorrow I’ll shave the goatee I for some reason or another grew out, which, in light of having met a halfway decent gal, is no longer acceptable for me to have.
And no, for the record, I’m not smitten with this girl, despite being a cute brunette New Zealander who can hold down her liquor and has surprisingly much in common with me. So don’t get your panties all up in a bunch just yet. My neurotic post-Liesl standards for women will kick in any minute now and that’ll be the end of it.