"Ee? Gaijin da!"

In other news, dangit I like my girlfriend. I spent more than a couple evenings with her last week, and being around her is just so dang much fun. I went shopping with her after she finished work the other day, to Moraju ironically, where I wasn't working that day because I had called in sick due to not having been paid. We went to the royal home center so she could find kind of like toolboxes so they could transport blood samples easily around the lab where she works. So we got like 7 or 8 of these things, but not before walking around the whole place playing with stuff like little kids and making musical instruments out of triangular pieces of metal and nails(早希Saki played the triangle in Jr.HS, a clear sign of musical accomplishment).

What really gets me about being with her is the way when with each other we can just relax and let our childlike selves out for a bit and have fun just exploring the world around us and making something enjoyable or interesting out of everything we come across. After playing around in the hardware store, we cruised out to her hospital, where we snuck around like ninjas breaking into the place, cause clearly a strange gaijin walking around the place didn't make us look suspicious enough. On the way out, we were playing carpet games, like you did as a kid walking around the mall only stepping on certain colored tiles, and getting not strange looks thank God but smiles and distracted laughter from those who we happened to pass by as we made our way to the exit. That we can do this shamelessly for me is like being able to breathe without hindrance.

While we were at the hospital though, we got a couple of other fun moments that mostly revolved around the blatant shock of my presence. Saki asked her boss if it was ok for me to come into the lab, and after saying yes of course I entered. As soon as he saw me he just straight said "え!外人だ！" (Huh?! He's an outsider! I say outsider and not foreigner because foreigner is 外国人gaikokujin and 外人gaijin is the, albeit culturally accepted and largely unaware, racial slur against all non-Japanese). Then of course is the, "日本語分かるの？” which of course I understand because the first thing other than 外人 that foreigners learn to recognize is the question of whether we understand Japanese.

Anyway, after that we stepped out of the lab and ran into another of Saki's coworkers, a young lady who was visibly shocked by my presence, and intimidated to the point of speechlessness, which, despite being frustrating to me in its indicativeness of utter lack of exposure to other cultures, is endlessly amusing. Lemme use -ness a couple more times here.

AND, as long as I'm on the topic, when I met Saki that afternoon at the station, she was talking to a friend she had ran into from her triangle playing school days, who as well was shocked to see me, but in a much more lively, conversational way. She, like hopefully an increasing number of young Japanese, though shy at first, really opened up as soon as she realized that I'm capable of holding a conversation in Japanese. The worst part though was that she works as part of the ground staff for Narita Airport, which means that not only does she use English every day of her life, but she's pretty good at it. Of course though, not a word of English came out of her mouth during the whole conversation. Funny how that works.
Anyway, she was amazed as well, and they talked about me as if I weren't even there, the whole time noticing my mannerisms and the way Saki and I act together and commenting that a Japanese guy would definitely never do that. A good thing, apparently. Oh, and apparently I stink of gaijin. I.e. I wear cologne. Funny how you can wear a cologne that 98% of western women will tell you smells amazing and then go to Japan and be told you reek. Not reek I guess really but more, have a really strong scent. Japanese men don't wear cologne. Or antiperspirant either, for that matter. I'd say it's cause they don't need it, but that's flat out not true. More true than it is for westerners, but, still. I mean come on.

I kind of don't really appreciate being talked about like a pet, which is basically how the conversation went, but at least all the while she was complimenting Saki and saying how jealous she was despite having recently gotten engaged. That was flattering.

Anyway anyway anyway what I'm getting at here, however long-windedly, is that Saki through all of these experiences, of which there have been many many outside of just this particular day, just goes along as if there's nothing strange about it at all. She just does not give a shit that I'm white, or more importantly, not Japanese. I suppose that shouldn't feel like a good thing, that should be normal, but let's face it, it's not. It's a rare and amazing thing for which I am deeply grateful. My girlfriend feels in no way ashamed or embarrassed by my presence, and is willing to introduce me to her friends, coworkers and supervisors.

That's incredible. This girl is incredible, and, as my friends have all pointed out on numerous occasions, I'm lucky as hell to be with her. Not just lucky, but happy. Really, really, genuinely happy. That in and of itself is a rare thing, for which I am deeply grateful.

Progress

I sent Greg a message the other day, telling him how sad it was that I still hadn't heard back from Interac regarding my application, and that I was going to have to find work elsewhere. He wrote back saying he was surprised by that, and shot off an email to his man behind the scenes to see what he could stir up.

Well, that was a few days ago and I had kinda given up on it. I was looking through the gaijinpot.com job listings, as I've gotten into the habit of daily after work, when I got a call from Greg, and we got to talking about how his guy wrote him back saying he would do something or other that was pretty cryptic but sounded like track down my info and get on it.

Anyway, I went to my email program to read him the last message I had received, which also happened to be the only email I had received from them, that being their initial confirmation of my online application. But then, as I opened it up, I saw that I had a new message, and lo and behold it was from Interac, informing me that I had passed the initial screening stage and instructing me to pop on to their website to continue with my application, which, after reviewing, they would probably give me a call and set up an interview. Sweet tits.

So I'm going through the thing, copying and pasting my resume information onto it, and giving all the relevant details, when I come across the references section, and kind of hit a roadblock. Who on Earth was I going to give as a reference? I've been here for 2 years, and more than likely the people who would have been my reference from my previous job in Oregon either have quit or transferred or have no idea who I am anymore. So I was kind of in a jam, and didn't know what to do.

Then I realized, well, wait a tick, Alex, my manager and trainer just so happens to be on Facebook, and we just so happen to be friends on there now that we've pretty clearly established that he couldn't give a fuck about the company anymore now that it's indiscriminately screwed us all over. So I tossed him a message asking if I could use him as a reference, and like 10 minutes later he had responded saying that's fine, and gave me his information. Freaking awesome! So I filled out the rest of the application and sent it on its merry way.

There was a spot where I could give my personal webpage, which I thought was interesting, and just out of curiosity, I checked my actual webpage and gave it a onceover for sanitation. Now, for exactly this reason, a while back I went and removed all existing links to this blog, and removed my name from it in any traceable way. I also went and removed my name from the entries here in which it appeared, to make sure that a Google search of my name wouldn't give someone back door access to this, whose contents are somewhat privileged. Or at least, now they are since making it inaccessible. This enables me to, hmmm how should I say, be honest, more or less, even though I know that my dad at least at one point had the address for this, and who knows, probably has it bookmarked somewhere that mom can't find it, but still checks now and again. Anyway, what it also does is protect me from potential employers going up online as would be so easy to do nowadays and read up about me. One must be prudent with what comes up with your name on it these days, ya?

So the links and pics on there were sanitary enough, so I said sure, what the heck, I'll give them the address, cause really what harm could it do? I know, I know, famous last words, but, hopefully they see it as a vote of confidence rather than an opportunity to hack into my private(despite being on the internet) life.

Anyway, this is all to say, that's some damn good news. Hopefully what will happen from here is that I get an interview, they hire me, and happen to have a job waiting for me when I get there and can start right away. More realistically, however, is the possibility that there will not be immediate work, in which case either I wait it out for a couple months till something comes along or, as Greg pointed out, I could be a sub, where I just go in every day early and wait to see if someone calls in sick. I'd be essentially on call, and though people might not call in, I'd get paid nonetheless, albeit a great deal less. But hopefully enough to survive on until I get something full time. That wouldn't be so bad, cause at least then I'd have a little cash coming in to pay rent and stuff. It's not like being broke as hell is anything really new to me.

Lalala

I'm frustrated at the moment, because it seems like no matter who I talk to, they've all got some job or other lined up. Everyone it seems has an interview or has a new job, or you know, just so happened to be the first person to post their resume for a new listing, and got called like two seconds later.

There are so many people looking for jobs right now, and I know my lack of luck is proportional to the competition, but, *sigh*.

I'm trying to be relaxed about it all, takin it easy and enjoying the time off, but admittedly it's a little hard when I know that I do in fact need to be making progress towards being employed again.

Amid the faxes from Saruhasi, and the not getting paid, and the rest of the crap that's going on with Nova, it's just shitty to watch jobs fall into my friends' laps and not mine, though that's not to say I'm not happy for them. It makes me happy to see that they are going to be able to stay, I just want to be a part of that group. I want to be able to say, "yeahp, I have a new job" when someone asks, and look at my girlfriend without secretly wondering if I'm going to have to leave her because I can't stay in Japan.

Honestly that's what would be the worst, is leaving Saki.
We met up yesterday for dinner, and the most amazing thing happened. We basically spoke the entire time in Japanese. I mean, there were a couple words tossed in in English now and again when I just wanted to really make sure I said exactly what I meant, but other than that. It was crazy. I just kept catching myself and smiling because of it.
Also, we were talking about wedding cake cutting procedure, and how Japanese adopted it from us but they forgot to actually feed the cake to one another, which, at least in my opinion, is a big deal. So after I explained it, Saki takes a spoonful of the desert we were eating and feeds it to me, and then I grab the spoon and do the same for her, and we just kinda looked at each other, smiled, and moved on with the conversation. But there was something there. Can't quite put my finger on it, but, it was there.

Ok, anyway, more later. Wish me luck getting a job.

The Beginning? Part 2

I got my visa approval card on Saturday, and I went and picked that up this morning. I was given a 3 year visa, so I can stay here as long as I want now without worrying about my visa expiring on me.

Funny story about that, see, I don't have any money. Literally. I think we all kind of (wrongly) assumed that we would at least get this month's pay and then the world would fall apart but we'd be ok cause at least we got paid. So, Saki and I took our trip to Nikko, I paid bills as I normally have to, and went to a few of my friends' going away parties.

But, then, er, ya. They told us our paychecks would be late, i.e. never gonna come.

So anyway, I tried to pull money out of my U.S. account yesterday but was unsuccessful, I assumed it was because I was using the card in another country. So, then I remembered that there was probably a withdrawal limit on my account, tried to take out less, still with no luck. I was going to have to call my bank, but my phone isn't enabled for international calls and my calling card had no more minutes left on it.

I went down to the Chiba Prefectural Immigration Office with about 7500 yen in my pocket and to my name. The visa was 4000 yen, and transportation was about 1500. That left me with 2000 yen in my pocket when I arrived back in Shin Matsudo, where there's a post office and a couple convenience stores, among other things.

So, here's where it gets cool, but, I mean not really cause the whole situation sucks. But anyway, I pop up on my phone and download a barcode that I use at the convenience store to purchase minutes for my phone card costing me, yes, you guessed it, 2000 yen. Then, using my newly purchased minutes, I called my U.S. bank and spoke to them about my account, and discovered that while I was able to withdraw money, the limit was far lower than I had attempted to withdraw. Anyway, they raised the limit for me, I went to the ATM, took out some cool cash, and voila! Here I am with a valid 3 year visa and cash in hand to last me through the month.

So, I'm not going to die. I'm not going to starve, but I am going to be living extremely tight until I get a new job and start getting paychecks again.

My friends here have been really supportive during this whole thing, mostly cause we're all in it together. Especially my friend Richie, he's been a big part of my sanity, and more especially Greg, who is going out of his way to help me get a job with the company he works for as soon as possible. My girlfriend, Saki, as well has helped me to focus on the good of all this, and kept me from wallowing in what would otherwise be an incredibly shit situation. Except she's usually so tired after she gets off work that she falls asleep after sending me a text message. Oh well.

Anyway, more as things progress. Thanks all for your support.

The Beginning?

Told you I would update this thing like mad.

I've been polishing (i.e. completely rewriting) my resume and typing up a cover letter, and am largely satisfied with the results.

But, more importantly, halfway through the mail came, and, out of paranoia I checked to see if there was anything for me.

When I looked in the mail slot, I saw the regular stuff: cable bill, my wire transfer receipt from last month, a couple fliers, and a postcard.

Wait, a postcard? That's new.

Reluctantly, hesitantly, I reached for the small card gingerly resting atop the mail I'd been looking at for weeks. When you're waiting for something in the mail, and day after day it doesn't come, something like learned helplessness sets in, where no matter what it sounds like, you just kind of start to assume it's not going to be what you're waiting for. So as I reached down into the mail slot I really didn't think it would be anything special, in fact I had no attachment to it other than it's what happened to arrive today.

So as I picked it up, the first thing I saw was the big red stamp from the postal service, circular and bold, drawing the eyes away from the other, handwritten letters on the one side of the card. But as my eyes broke free of the grasp of the red ink, they focused on the letters to finally recognize the handwriting as my own.

Without really registering the significance of my own handwritten name and address on the card, I flipped it over to inspect the letter on the other side. I recalled being in the immigration office, filling in the card, and how, after completing it, flipping it over to see the letter I was then looking at, only to hand it to the clerk before really digesting its contents. More appropriately, before checking to see if there was some checkbox or notice that said my application hadn't been approved.

See, even then, holding the card in my hand, now realizing its significance, my mind had still not yet relinquished the possibility of failure, a self-preservation mechanism I'm sure that stems from all the bad things happening around me. I was fully prepared to turn that card over and see that my visa had not been approved, and that I would be forced to leave the country. But as I read the card fully, I realized there was in fact no such notice, and I was, for certain, holding a letter of approval for my long awaited visa.

So, that's one thing down on my list of things that must happen for me to remain in Japan. I have a visa. I'm going down on Monday to pick it up, using the money I had to float myself to pay for it.

Now all I need is another job. Little things, ya? But that's why I'm working on my resume.

The End: Part 2

Well, in times of crisis, there's only one thing a man such as myself can do, and that's blog constantly about it.

Greg is going to send an email off to Interac, the company he works for, in conjunction with my online application that I sent off last night and received a confirmation email for this morning. Hopefully we will be able to work something out where I begin working as soon as possible, assuming they like anything about me and would want to hire me.

This morning all I can do is look outside at the sky, sunny, with a few clouds stretching out lazily across the sky. There's a cool wind blowing, Ty's laundry is rocking back and forth in front of my balcony sliding door, and the sound of the wind picking up sounds like the noise when rope is being pulled from a reel quickly. Fall is setting in, though it's still warm in the sun, the air will sweep away your warmth should you let it. It's admittedly a nice time of year, I can begin to smell the familiar scents of this season, farmers burning leaves, the drop in humidity and temperature that makes the air feel somehow sharper. Unlike Ty who loves this temperature, I have my heater on at night, have for a week or two now, but when I wake up some days my room is far too hot.

I have a three day weekend now anyway, but it's going to be a much longer one now I think. Why is beyond me but at times like this I just kinda want to walk around in the silence of the world and just look at things. Walk to the station without having to catch a train, take my time and just look at things I never really have the chance to when I'm trying to get there in 13 minutes. My neighborhood is really quiet, so it's nice sometimes to move around in a world that's on mute, hearing my footsteps and the wind only as I navigate streets and pathways.

I have to debate now whether or not to go to work on Tuesday, presumably after not having been paid. A large part of me says not to, there's no point, I'm not getting paid for it so why should I? But the other part of me is split in two as well. Half of half of me wants to go to work out of respect for my students, they paid money too and are getting shafted in a different but similar way; they'll never get their money back and my refusal to come to work all but assures they'll never get any real value out of it either. The other half of half of me says I should say fuck it, have some fun, go to work in regular clothes, just be a regular guy at work, give out my number to anyone who wants it, for private lessons and the like, and get my stuff that I've allow to accumulate there over the years. I think that's what I'm going to do, at least assuming I have nothing better to do, like a job interview or something.

The kicker at this point is my visa. The not having heard back about it is really starting to get to me, but at this point I'm anticipating the death blow to me personally of being denied. Basically if I get a visa I can at least attempt to salvage my life here, but, there's no hope of that if I don't. I'd have to go home, soonish, and then what? Try to come back again? Stay in America and go to grad school? Get some lousy entry level job and get stuck? That much I'm not ready to really consider yet, though, like the job applications I should have been sending out a while ago, I should think about it now while it's still up in the air.

I took out $1k to get me through this month, assuming come Friday we still don't get paid, which we won't. It's not going to be pleasant paying it off, but what other option do I have? I've got bills, man. Even if I don't stick around here, money has to be in my checking account every month; the US Government isn't very forgiving of tardiness regarding the renumerance of student loans.

Well, anyway, I've got a lot of free time on my hands, so, today I think will be me cleaning a whole bunch, writing here, and otherwise trying to keep myself occupied. Ah, maybe I should write my resume, since I can't find my old copy.

The End

Nova's finished.

There was a fax after we all went home today, 9:35 apparently, saying that instructors won't be paid until the 19th, instead of the 15th. That's it, that's the end.

I'm officially out of a job, in Japan, with a visa that will expire in just over 2 weeks. Fantastic. Oh, and I'm broke too. As if that helps.

I sent an application to Interac just now, the company Greg works for. We'll see where that gets me.

I would be more shocked if this were the first time I've suddenly found myself completely and utterly fucked, which I am, more or less. The only difference between now and the other times is that now I have a week or two to make some tough choices and get things sorted.

Not to turn this into a whine-fest, but, why? I mean, of all the things to have follow me around in my life, why does it have to be complete, utter, life destroying, emotionally scarring disaster?

Oh well. You take the hand you're dealt, eh? Chin up, David.

Stocks and Broken Bonds

So here's what just happened with Nova:

A couple days ago the GU (Genereal Union) submitted a request to METI, the Ministry of Trade, to assist Nova and demand that teachers be paid, and, at the same time METI demanded of Nova that they pay back outstanding refund requests from students who have canceled their contracts.

This means that there's something in the making to ensure that I do get paid, but here's what's more:
It was released on Tuesday that Nova has issued 200 stock warrants to two different trading companies in the Virgin Islands, which would issue millions of new shares of stocks in the company, should the companies regularly exercise their option. What that means, as has been pointed out in deft financial analysis, is that as the number of stocks increases, the controlling share of the current holders will decrease, especially Saruhashi himself, and the company shareholders, who combined control 71% of Nova's current stock.

Should all the stocks be purchased by these companies over the next year, their combined controlling shares will be reduced to 18%, as in, the stock warrants constitute a 400% increase in the total number of shares. If the value of the stock increases even 5 yen, the companies will break even, but moreover it means that Nova will have more money to actually pay people off, but at what cost? They've lost control of the company. The CEO will have lost control of the company, which shows that he's completely lost faith in the business and is willing to lose control of it to keep it afloat for just a little while longer while these two bottom feeder companies make some profit from the sinking ship.

This is good for me because it makes me feel a little more secure that I will continue to get paid a little while longer, until I get my visa stuff sorted out and look for a new job that might not start immediately. But, it also means that I had better damn well find that job, cause unless Saruhashi has some crazy idea for how he's going to eventually regain control of the vast majority of those stocks, his company is gone. These two companies have no intention of changing anything about the company, or running it once it's in their control, which is further evidence that they're only in it to turn a quick profit and be out of it.

No company is going to want to buy out Nova now, at least not until these two companies have bought all their cheap stocks, and then flooded the market with them. That means, if someone wanted to have controlling share, they would have to put a huge amount of money into those two companies as well. So, it's good for the traders, but...who knows what it means for us.

Oh well, it's the best news I've heard in a long time. No matter how much things improve here I'm still leaving, the deathblow to my wanting to work for Nova has long since been dealt, i want nothing to do with this company any longer than I have to.

Hope?

Well the AT's got paid on the 28th, which was a relief to us all. What that means as far as the future of my company goes is anyone's guess.
Friday was the staff payday as well, and Megumi, my j-staff, was unable to tell me if she got paid, cause, well, she hadn't checked yet. Who does that? I mean seriously, you're working for a company that might not have paid you and you somehow just don't get around to checking to see if your check was deposited? Silly Japanese, even if I do understand them someday I'll always think they're bass ackwards. I asked her the next day if she knew, and lo and behold, she still hadn't checked. I repeat, who does that? I mean, really.

Anyway, the upside to this is that people got paid. The downside is that it has given us lazy folk, of which working for Nova there are quite a few, that sort of lazy man's hope that addles us and prevents us from taking decisive action towards the inevitable. See, Richie and I both said at the exact same time on the bus after learning the ATs had been paid that now we suddenly feel like everything's going to be ok, and of course we're going to get paid on time, and no we don't have to bother looking for a new line of work any sooner than we had originally planned.
Which clearly isn't true, them having gotten paid means extremely little until our next payday rolls around and we see how things go from there, but in either case we shouldn't be waiting around for something like that to make our decision. We should be doing shit now, before the hundreds or thousands of other lazy folks like ourselves find themselves out of a job and all start looking at the exact same time. But no. ATs got paid, so, we're waiting it out now, confident as only the willfully naive can be.

But, at least in Richie's case he can go about looking for another job whenever he pleases. I, on the other hand, don't have that luxury. See, on Friday morning I went down to the immigration office and dropped off my application for my new visa, a 3 year one, by the way. See, my current visa expires at the end of this month, which means that I can't even apply for a new job somewhere else because already living in Japan employers will require that I have at least 4-6 months remaining on my visa so they can determine whether I'm going to stick it out with them and want to sponsor me for another visa. So, until I hear back from the immigration office regarding my visa, I can't even start looking for another job. Well, I can look, but I can't really do anything about it.

The worst part about it was, and this happened to both Big Jenn and I on the same day at different immigration offices, that after they took our application and we put our addresses on the little postcard they send you when your visa is ready to be picked up, IF, not when mind you but IF we receive this postcard then we should come back to the office to pick it up. They didn't say what would happen if I DON'T receive it, just that IF I do, I should come on by.

Now, when you think about it, that makes sense, right? I mean, there's always a chance that for whatever reason your visa might be denied, and as such the appropriate word is IF I receive the card. But, see, I've done this once before, and between me, Big Jenn, and everyone else I know, no one has ever heard them use 'if' rather than 'when'. It's disturbing. The thing of it is Big Jenn and I are both Nova instructors, and both went on the same day, so it could be that they just updated their script to use 'if', but it also could be that they both saw Nova on our forms and that caused the 'if'. Unsettling for both of us.

So anyway, my fingers are crossed and we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I'll still be around in another month.

In other news, Saki and I are going to Nikko this weekend. We're renting a car and driving down there for a two day one night excursion to see the changing of the leaves, and the world famous "Hear no evil, etc" monkey statues. Oh, and do some hot spring stuff. And enjoy our first overnight vacation and road trip together. Ahh couple stuff.

I'm not gonna have much money left over come payday, so I've gone into mega yen conservation mode. I can't be certain I'll get paid on time or at all, so, I gotta make these yennies last as far as possible. I know, a vacation to Nikko with Saki isn't exactly spendthrift, but, it was planned a while back, and well, I'm just gonna do it. I don't care. I've got one shot at life, I'm gonna enjoy it, damnit.